Men and Women Are from Earth

A study came out recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: “Men and Women Are from Earth: Examining the Latent Structure of Gender.” The central hypothesis of the paper is that men and women actually aren’t all that different.  Many of the differences that we might demonstrate have more to do societal expectations than inherent biology. This isn’t the first study on the subject.  I recently read the book “Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference,” by neuroscience psychologist Cordelia Fine.  In it she exposes noticeable trends in male vs. female psychology, both in … Continue reading

Living with Engineers: It’s All in the Timing

Another engineer’s wife and I were having a discussion about household chores yesterday.  We were bemoaning the fact that if we want our husbands to do something for us, we either need to tell them right away, or it won’t happen at all. The engineer’s mind is a constant one-way track of processing information.  It’s what makes them so brilliant and efficient: they zero in on a task, giving it their complete focus until it’s done.  I’m almost always thinking about other things while I’m working on something, which is why it can take me longer to achieve something with … Continue reading

Doofy Husbands

Have you ever heard of doofy husbands?  They’re the guys in commercials who are always incapable of doing anything around the house.  They try to do the laundry, clean a room, or cook a meal, always to hilarious failure.  Their long-suffering wives come into the room and shake their heads, then proceed to use whatever product is being shilled to accomplish the task with ease. The concept of doofy husbands is problematic for a couple reasons: it doesn’t give men enough credit, and it perpetuates the idea that men aren’t good at performing many household, traditionally feminine tasks.  It implies … Continue reading

Happy Kids: Mission Impossible?

You’re familiar with the saying, “Happy wife, happy life,” but have you found the key to fostering that happiness? According to a new survey, happy kids beget happy moms/wives which beget happy husbands/dads. The equation seems simple enough until you factor in life’s discomforts, hardships and disappointments. I’d love for my child to be happy 24/7.  What parent wouldn’t?  After all, nothing makes most moms and dads happier than to see their children in high spirits. My own 8-year-old would love for her entire family to be happy every minute of every day and is visibly uncomfortable when that idealistic … Continue reading

Me Focused

A marriage needs to be nurtured.  It requires sacrifice, giving and selflessness.  But it can’t always be “other focused.” You see, if all of your efforts go into pleasing your spouse, its going to cause burnout or possibly bitterness.  This means that just as important as it is to take care of your spouse and your marriage, you need to take care of yourself. A failure to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually won’t make you a better marriage partner.  You are more likely to struggle with fatigue, depression, irritability and lots of other not-so-pleasant qualities that can … Continue reading

Bonding With the In-Laws: The Youngest Sibling

One of the weirdest things about marrying into a large family was that I’ve been around for almost the entire life of my littlest brother-in-law.  When Jon and I first started dating, and I met the family for the first time, his youngest brother was only a bit over a year old.  While he knows most of Jon’s other siblings very well, because they all lived at home with him for years (and some still do), Jon wasn’t around much when he was growing up.  So Jon, his own brother, isn’t really that much more of a presence in his … Continue reading

How Do You Define PDA?

Recently my volunteering friends and I discussed PDA (public displays of affection).  My two friends talked about their husbands’ discomfort with PDA.  Well, I could relate to that: it tends to make a lot of people uncomfortable.  But then I learned that what they meant by PDA was hand-holding, hugs, a quick kiss. My one friend said it took her husband years before he would hold her hand in public.  The other said that when she and her husband meet up somewhere, when her husband arrives all the other women in the room get a hug, or sometimes even a … Continue reading

In Memoriam 2012 – Part 1

It’s that time of the year again – to reflect on those we have lost.  Some deaths might have been expected, but many came as a shock to us.  Either way, all will be missed. January 2012 1 – Etta James – Leukemia (73) James had a beautiful voice and was lucky enough to see it appreciated by a whole new generation when songs such as “At Last” became popular again in the 2000’s.  James won six Grammys and 17 Blues Music Awards.  Her music crossed genres as she was also inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame … Continue reading

Generational Differences in Marriage Dynamics: Cooking

Due to all of my volunteering, I spend a lot of time each week with people who are more in my parents’ generation than mine. That’s normal enough; once we graduate and enter the work force, our pool of peers naturally expands beyond our age group. I have no problem with this most of the time, but once in a while I feel our generational difference, and that usually relates to our views on marriage. My friends don’t have extremely different views on marriage than me; they’re certainly not the types who think their husbands rule the roost. I don’t … Continue reading

Home Based Business Idea – Private Investigator

If you have always thought that you would make a great detective, why not start a home – based business where you can do investigative work. Private investigators take the time to sift through and analyze information in all kinds of situations, in order to provide their clients with investigative reports. In addition to excellent investigative skills, you will need good oral and written communication skills because your job will involve talking to people and finding out information, as well as producing investigative reports. As with many types of home – based businesses that require special skills, private investigators must … Continue reading