Don’t Lust After Your Husband

“Lusting after your spouse is a sin,” our pastor claimed, paraphrasing actually from something he once heard Pope John Paul II once said. My husband and I looked at each other. Uh oh, I immediately thought. I have a healthy appreciation for my husband in that way, and was afraid of what was coming next. I thought that out of all of the people in the world, well, it was okay to be sexually attracted to my husband. But you know, the pastor, and consequently the pope were right. Once I heard the explanation, I had to completely agree that … Continue reading

Thoughts on Marriage and Monogamy

As I was writing What You Might Not Have Known About Affairs, I got to wondering: If we’re not programmed to be monogamous, why do we try to be? (As part of my research for that piece I was surprised to learn that monogamy is not the norm for 97 percent of most mammals, including humans.) Something else I learned while researching another article, Affairs and STDs, was that as many as 60% of marriages could suffer a cheating spouse. At first I thought as high as 60% seemed ridiculous –-until I learned about how humans are not monogamous beings … Continue reading

“My Husband Thinks I’m Fat” – A “Real” Housewives Confession

It’s a revelation every married woman fears: a husband who’s no longer physically attracted to her. So much so that he wants out of the marriage entirely. That’s what Jeana Keough, one of the stars of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Orange County, admitted to her friend Tammy on a recent episode. Her husband of 20 years, Matt, not only thought she was fat but was disgusted by her and it’s one of the reasons for their split. While they may have had a long marriage by today’s standards, it sure didn’t sound like it was happy. Worse, it sounded like … Continue reading

Flaws: Sometimes It’s the Imperfections that are the Most Endearing

As far as husbands go, Wayne comes close to being nearly perfect. He’s kind, considerate, and generous, but most of all he’s patient. Because as far as wives go, I’m more Lucille Ball than Martha Stewart. However, Wayne has his moments when his flaws shine so bright they’re blinding. He doesn’t have many of them, but the ones he does have…wow! They’re doozies! Flaw One: Mr. Whatever Being flexible is a good thing. Being able to go with almost any flow and have fun no matter the occasion or surroundings is an awesome trait. But when I need help deciding … Continue reading

My Thoughts on Development and Maintenance of Marriage

This blog was inspired by a question posed from a poster on’s forum. Bryan was the first guy I didn’t feel like I had to impress. Prior to meeting him I’d come to the realization that at 16 I didn’t need a boyfriend—though one would be nice if he were willing to accept me for who I was. Even at just 16 I’d come to realize what I wanted and needed out of a relationship was not going to come easy at my age. Bryan really wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time either. So when we met, … Continue reading

No Longer Attracted to Your Spouse?

Sex is no doubt a very important part of marriage; but it is just that—a part. As some people come to a dry spell in their relationship not finding their spouse as appealing sexually as they once had, the temptations of extramarital affairs might come to mind, divorce, resentment and blame, or even depression. It’s important to reel yourself back to the heart of marriage which hopefully wasn’t based solely on sexual attraction but on genuine love and devotion. My hope too is that you are married to your very best friend and meant every single word of your marriage … Continue reading

What If My Spouse Doesn’t Find Me Attractive?

I have seen a lot of posts about this on the forums recently and I’ve wondered about this myself. After all, our personal body image affects how we perceive other people’s reactions to us. It’s harder when a husband or wife tells us flat out that we are not attractive. So my first question in this scenario is ‘why not?’ What is about them or me that they or I do not find attractive? Is it physically based? Does weight play a factor into it? Is it appearance, how they dress? Facial hair? How they style their hair? What is … Continue reading

When Is It Emotional Cheating?

Last time I wrote about the importance of our friends, how they’re still so necessary even when we’re married.  I said that we can get some things from our friends that we can’t from our spouses.  That can be anything from goofy times, to a chance to talk about our relationship/our spouse (not bad mouth, but just to talk), to even filling some emotional needs. Now, I realize that this could be a dangerous line.  Emotional cheating is very real, and it’s not something to be taken lightly.  So today I wanted to point out the difference between having some … Continue reading

Adjusting Your Home Based Business to Meet Your Needs

One of the benefits of working from home is that as your needs change, you can change your work to fit them. The changes can be large or small, gradual or sudden, but the point is that you are in control of what you do when and for whom. This means that you have the power to make changes if you realize that doing things differently will be beneficial for you and for your family. During the time that I have been a home-based professional, I have made some changes to my work. Some things have remained constant, but some … Continue reading

“Thor” A Mighty Addition to the Marvel Lineup

“Thor” officially kicked off the blockbuster season this past weekend. Its status as a comic book film qualifies it as the first of the summer’s big-budget, big-hype movies, and its place in the series of Marvel flicks leading up to the superpower-packed, Joss Whedon (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”)-helmed “Avengers” movie only heightened the anticipation. Here’s the rub: as my husband said to me as we exited the theater, “Thor” didn’t feel like a typical comic book movie. Unlike infamous flops “Jonah Hex” and the Ang Lee “Hulk,” however, with “Thor,” this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. There are two reasons … Continue reading