The Rose Colored Glasses Are Off

I’ve always believed that it’s important that my child has her father in her life. I’ve bent over backwards to make sure that happens. At times I’ve been so accommodating that my family and friends were questioning my sanity. A frequent thing I heard was “He would never do that for you, why would you do it for him.” I didn’t do it for him, I did it for my daughter, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought that by remaining as friendly as possible with her father and protecting her as much as I could from … Continue reading

Loving an Angry Man

I’ll never forget a conversation I had with my husband early in our relationship regarding his anger issues. I was trying to ascertain whether or not he understood the impact his volatile temper had on his personal and professional life. When I realized that he didn’t necessarily consider his anger a negative attribute, I asked him, “How do you figure your temper helps you?” His answer was swift and decisive: “People are afraid of me, so they usually do what I want.” He was a little slower in answering my next question: “And how does it hurt you?” Like most … Continue reading

Giving up on your own child

Of course I understand that there are reasons why parents would willingly give up their rights to their children. People do it all the time when they put their babies up for adoption. My husband adopted our oldest child. I had her when I was young, her biological father was not ready to be a father, and he was all too happy to sign away his rights and allow someone else to take over that role. I don’t blame him for that; he was young too. I guess I always just assumed that this happened only with babies, though. Mothers … Continue reading

Ask a Marriage Blogger – What Causes of Divorce Have You Seen Personally?

As I mentioned earlier, a friend of mine is getting married and has questions about how to make her relationship as successful as possible. She gave me permission to share some of her questions, and my answers, with you. Q. What are some causes of divorce you’ve seen personally? A. Earlier today, we saw a list of causes that can apply to couples anywhere. The causes I have personally witnessed are subheadings of each of these causes. The first and most common cause I have witnessed is pornography. I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, … Continue reading

Three Ms You Don’t Want in Marriage

Yesterday we looked at some Ms to incorporate into marriage. Today I’ve got three Ms you definitely don’t want in your marriage Manipulative We’ve all seen then the wives who manipulate their husbands with tears and emotional blackmail and acts designed to get what they want. We see it in those who manipulate their spouse into doing what they want when they want it, using sex or whatever other means at their disposal to get their own way. Manipulative people often use tactics to make the other person feel guilty, if they don’t comply. They use silent treatment or lies … Continue reading

What Would You Not Forgive – Part 2?

Yesterday I told you of the discussion four of us had about what we would not forgive or would struggle to forgive. The other thing both of us the women in the group mentioned was domestic violence. I’d find it hard to live with a man who took out his frustration and anger on me in violent ways. You’d always be walking on eggshells wondering what next would set him off. I say he, because although abuse of husband by wives does happen, it is less common. With domestic violence there is often a pattern where the violent act is … Continue reading

The Answer Should Never Be I Don’t Know

If that’s the answer, what’s the question? The question, in this case, should be why are we still married? The answer should never be I don’t know. Now I can give you any number of reasons why you might still be married – but the only one who can answer that question is you. Why Am I Still Married? It may sound hokey, it may sound corny – but I made a vow and a commitment and even during the hardest of times, I haven’t forgotten this. The idea of getting a divorce because we were angry at each other … Continue reading

Revisiting Celebrity Marriages – Lessons We Can Learn

The last time I visited on this topic was last April but with the rash of celebrity news over the last ten days, now is as good a time as any to take a look at the Hollywood power couples where it appears the marriages are failing or ending with the woman’s successful career continuing to skyrocket and the man’s appearing to be at best, underachieving compared to the wife’s. In the last few weeks we’ve seen Britney Spears leaving Kevin Federline, Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe filing for divorce, Whitney Houston finally saying good-bye to Bobby Brown and before … Continue reading

MEN TORch the Chance of Boys Becoming Non-Violent Men

Come on men. Where are you? Our boys are in trouble. There are not enough male mentors signing up to mentor our collective sons. I have been involved in training mentors for young people since 2000. Overwhelmingly the mentor trainees are women. While this is great for our girls, what about our boys? Leading boys is something that women can do, but men leading boys may be far more powerful. Boys are socialized to like and do different things. They are unique. Boys have different physiology, different skills, and often, different ways of thinking. These differences need to be celebrated … Continue reading

Vows and Divorce

This is thankfully an area I’m no expert in. Divorce can be such a sensitive topic so I want to approach it with care. Our vows to our spouse probably included some of the following: To love and to cherish, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part. According to Dan Hurley of The New York Times, divorce rates aren’t completely accurate and actually seem to be on a decline which is good news. Jesus clarifies divorce for us in Matthew 5:31-32, “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him … Continue reading