AmIlikemymother's comments

Dealing with a Narcissistic Family Member - Blog Entry

07 Jul 2008 07:42 AM

My previous therapist labeled my mother narcissistic by proxy. I didn't realize how significant this disorder is until recently. It is a huge relief to know this disorder on one hand (relief of guilt), and realization sad to comprehend on the other (no hopes for a better relationship with her, heightens with age, no way to deal with it. etc.).

Same therapist and I went through the characteristics item by item and reassured me that I wasn't narcissistic. (I feel like I am like my Mother when she expresses to me that my feelings don't count, and my response quiltily feels like it mirrors hers).

Whenever she hurts my feelings and puts it back on me that she is right, she isn't going to change for anybody and I can get over it, I don't call her for a while. Neighter of us will budge until I give in when I feel like I am "punishing" her.

We recently lost my Dad and I feel tremendous responsibilty to her as she has almost no friends and no one to turn to. But when she slaps me in the face with this stuff, I don't want to continue in the relationship at all. But then that brings me back to guilt. Vicious cycle. I do not like the relationship I have with her (frankly, I mostly don't like her) and sadly now realize it will never get better.

Thank you for this blog; you do not know what a tremendous relief it is to be able to identify with some of these people and finally come to grips it is not my fault. My question is, is narcissism hereditery? And what other sources can you reccommend (books, journals) that I can turn to to assist me in my struggle?