05 Apr 2009 05:17 AM

First-time Parents

It's always a shock to first-time parents when they hear how loudly and how strongly their little baby can cry. The dads seem to have a tougher time with this than the moms. When I see a dad who is having a tougher time than most, I will take him aside and say to him in so many words, "This is your new life; you're just not going to sleep well anymore. The life you knew is over. The sooner you acknowledge that, the better you will sleep. When your child cries, you just get up to take care of the matter in a very matter-of-fact manner without getting angry. Anger will only make you feel worse. You just get up, do what you have to do, and then go to bed. Retain no negative emotions. Allow them to flow through your body." Much of the frustration we feel is due to unreasonably high-expectations that we set upon ourselves with regard to time and energy. If we set an expectation that we will sleep through the night, but then get woken up by a crying baby, we become frustrated and angry. To solve this, we must recognize that our expectations are unreasonable. Once we adjust our expectation, the frustration and consequent anger dissolves.

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