Author Archives: Kathy Sheldon

About Kathy Sheldon

My name is Kathy Sheldon and I live in Northern NJ with my husband, Jeff, my 15 month old son, Connor, two cats, a bird, and the newest addition our 10 week old Bernese Mountain puppy. I graduated from Buffalo State College and then went on to earn a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology from Pace University. Prior to my son being born I worked for 7 years in a Domestic Violence Shelter in New York City with women and their children. I counseled women and their families individually and in groups. For the last five years at the shelter I was in administration and management. I resigned from my position as Director of Client Services after Connor was born because my commute into New York City was too long from where we live. When my son Connor was 4 months old I decided to start my Direct Sales Business with the Traveling Vineyard. I chose In Home Wine Tastings because I really enjoy wine and wanted to learn more about it. It was then that I started to write my first blog, "Traveling Wine Adventures." Since my son was adopted and my husband, and I had such a wonderful experience with our adoption and American Adoptions, I inquired with them about doing Adoption Home Studies and was hired contractually in September. I also have started to do Adoption Seminars locally for prospective adoptive parents. In August of 2005 I started my second blog "Working Moms Wanted". I started it because I found myself in place like many new Moms, needing to find work but not knowing if it would be better to work out of my home or get an outside job. My husband and I are socially active people and enjoy spending a lot of our time with families in the neighborhood and our own families. In addition we enjoy many hobbies. I enjoy running, reading, writing, cooking, and of course spending time with Connor.

Considerations in Adoption: Prenatal Drug and Alcohol Exposure

Ideally when a prospective adoptive couple or individual are planning on adopting, they are hoping to adopt a healthy baby or child. Often a couple won’t consider adopting a child whose birthmother used drugs or alcohol during pregnancy. Let me make note, before going further, that using drugs and alcohol during pregnancy is wrong. However, it is an unfortunate reality that women do use drug and alcohol during pregnancy and if you decide to rule out a prenatally exposed baby you are ruling out a large portion of adoptable children. In the past few decades long term research has been … Continue reading →

Creating an Adoptive Family Profile

The family profile is a collection of photos and information about a prospective adoptive family. It should include the birthmother letter you have written. If you have explored the different adoption websites on the internet you have probably seen or viewed a couple’s family profile. It is one of the most important parts of the adoption process. The family profile is the document that a birthmother will view to help her decide on a family. If you are working with an agency, the agency will provide you with guidelines to create your family profile. The agency may also help you … Continue reading →

Bonding and Attachment: Will My Child and I be Close?

Closeness in a relationship is another facet of attachment. The closeness between child and parent is influenced by several factors and can change over time. Some factors will strengthen a relationship while others may weaken a relationship. Some factors have a historical influence while other factors happen day by day. Some factors cannot be changed, such as physical looks, while other factors can be controlled. Past Bonds: Did the child form a healthy relationship or bond in the past with a caregiver or parent? As mentioned in the previous post “Bonding and Attachment: Will My Child Love Me?” bonding happens … Continue reading →

Bonding and Attachment: Will My Child Love Me?

Will my child love me? This is the question that I asked myself the most when we were waiting to adopt. It was my greatest concern and fear. When I had read adoption books, I always skipped to the chapter on attachment. However, like the question, “Will I love my child?” I soon found that this fear was very natural and normal to have. The concept of bonding and attachment between parent and child is not a simple one. Before going further to explain bonding and attachment, I would like to mention that most adopted children and their parents can … Continue reading →

Bonding and Attachment: Will I Love My Child?

Will my child and I be close? Will my child love me? Will I love my child? These are some of the most common questions and concerns not only for a prospective adoptive couple, but also any new parent waiting the birth of their baby. However, when you are waiting to adopt a baby, toddler, or older child, the question of attachment and bonding takes on a different dimension. Keep in mind that asking yourself the questions; “Will I love my child? Can I love an adopted child as much as I would love my birth child?” are perfectly normal … Continue reading →

Should I Return to Work After We Adopt?

I was talking the other evening with a woman whose husband and she were starting to explore the process of adoption. They were anxious and eager to find an agency and get the adoption process rolling. The couple asked a number of the usual questions that I am asked about the adoption process, such as length of wait times, expenses, and how to decide on an agency. The wife then asked a legitimate question that I had not been asked before. Would a birthmother choose another family if the prospective adoptive parent disclosed that she had to return to work … Continue reading →

Single Parent Adoption

On occasion I get an e-mail from an individual who is single or a single parent wondering if they would be eligible to adopt. I am always so pleased and impressed by the single men and women who are already parents or who want to be parents by building a family through adoption. Single parenting does not come easy and comes with unique challenges that couples who adopt may not have. However, these individuals are willing and ready to open their homes, hearts, and world to a child. I am pleased to say that “yes” single men and women are … Continue reading →

How to write a Birthmother Letter

As I had written in my previous post my husband and I felt that writing the “Dear Birthparents letter” was one of the most difficult tasks that we had to complete to join American Adoptions. It was the last step we completed after building our family profile and it took us a week to complete. Now it’s been a little over two years since we wrote our letter, but I still recall the apprehension and anxiety I felt when I sat down, with a notepad, on the couch across from my husband to start the letter. I also remember reading … Continue reading →

The Dear Birthmother Letter

I can honestly say that writing our birthmother letter was one of the most difficult tasks that we had to complete when we were applying to become a member of American Adoptions. I’m sure I’m not alone when I admit that my husband and I procrastinated to sitting down together to start it. However, it can be easy to understand why what could be seen as a simple task, as writing a one page letter, can become intimidating and challenging. After all this one page note is a couple’s first line of communication and correspondence with a potential birthmother. You … Continue reading →

Semi-Open and Open Adoption in Domestic Adoption

At some point during the adoption process a prospective adoptive couple or individual has to decide whether they would like to have a closed, semi-open, or open adoption. In my previous post I discussed some of the advantages and disadvantages of a closed adoption. In this post I will discuss the option of semi-open and open adoption. Open Adoption tends to be defined as when the birthmother or birthparents and the adoptive parents share identifying information about each other. This would include last names, addresses, and phone numbers. The adoptive parents and birthmother may also get together with the child … Continue reading →