23 Jun 2008 06:20 PM

AvaBaby Story of a Micro Preemie

No matter how prepared we tried to make ourselves for this outcome, nothing and I mean nothing could prepare me for what I saw. First of all Ava was so very tiny, and yet I now know they come even smaller as unbelievable as it may seem. She was just 1 inch longer than a ruler! What is that?? Her size issue was minut' compared to the condition to her tiny little body.

Ava was black and I do mean black and blue from the top of her little head to the soles of her tiny feet. Her fragile skin had been terribly bruised during the delivery. Her head was so black that I thought her hair was black, but it was actually a light blond as we would later find out. There were small cuts or scratches in a few places. Her delivery was extremely difficult.

Ava had been sedated, so was laying there appearing absolutely lifeless. She was laying fulling prone with nothing on, tubes of all kind going into places I didn't even know that you could put a tube, like through her belly button. That is where they fed her. She was intubated so she could breath. There were IVs, and monitors, on her chest and on her feet. I have never put any of the pictures of her at this stage on the internet because of their nature. They are even difficult to look at to this day.

The nurses stood quietly by while I looked at her for about 10 minutes, supplying me with tissues. I gathered my thoughts and prepared myself to go see my daughter and tell her how her little girl was doing.

I decided at this point not to give her all of the details as she was exhausted. I merely told her she was stable, and her blood gasses were good. The doctors were impressed with her early stats.

Late that night friends and family left. Ava's dad went to the car to sleep and I stayed with my daughter in her room. Sleep was difficult, but at the same time we were so exhausted. I awoke very early, and my daughter was not mentally prepared yet to see her little girl. She wanted me to go check on her. I took a look in the mirror before entering into the halls of the hospital. My face was swollen from so many tears in the hours before. I smoothed out my hair and went to check on Ava.

The halls were empty and quiet and everything seemed surreal. I walked into the waiting room of the NICU, no one was there but me. The radio was sofly playing as I called the nurses station to be let in. I will never forget the song that was on as long as I live, it was, "In the Arms of the Angels", I am not kidding. I stood there silently waiting for the door to open, listening to this song, with tears rolling down my face. I still can't think of that moment without being brought to tears and it has been 4 1/2 years.

After washing up good, I entered into the NICU and approached Ava's little bed. Ava looked pretty much exactly like she looked the night before, only now she was under a sheet of clear plastic and there were blue lights all around her and her eyes were covered with little covers to protect them even though her eyes had not opened yet.

The nurse introduced herself and explained how Ava was doing, I stood there just watching her for the longest time. What was so amazing is that even though she was so tiny, she was so perfect. She had the tiniest little fingers and she even had tiny little finger nails, with the little creases across her knuckles. It was all there, every little detail. She was very thin as is typical for a baby born at this stage, they have no fat, none. She really had no features, because she had no fat on her face, she looked like a very old lady, but she was somehow so beautiful. The expressions on her face were more peaceful then that had been the night before, she looked more relaxed.

After a bit a man came by, he looked at Ava's chart, grunted out a quick hello and left. As it turns out, this was the doctor who was Ava's primary neonatologist and had been at her delivery. I thought to myself, great, nice bedside manner.

A few hours later another man approached Ava's bed. He was a small man with glasses and was wearing street clothes. He pulled up a stool and immediately introduced himself. He already knew who I was. He turned out to be the neonatologist who would spend the next 24 hr period in the NICU. Wow, was he different than the doctor who stopped by just a bit earlier. This doctor was very firendly and offered to tell me everything and wanted to answer every last question I had. I was impressed.

You may remember as I mentioned before that we are all Jehovah's Witnesses and most know that we do not accept blood transfusions, even under life threatening circumstances. This was one of those circumstances and we were very concerned about Ava as her blood count was extremely low and her parents had asked that there be no blood transfusions given. 

This doctor was fully aware of Ava's parents request and already completly had read all of the material we had provided on conserving blood in preemies. He had already ordered that most of the techniques be put into motion.

Transfusing preemies of this size is a normal occurance and is expected. The major reason for this is because of all the testing that is done on them. A baby as small as Ava, has less than 1/2 of a coke can full of blood and if you take out 3-4 cc everyday, you will quickly deplete their blood supply. So what we had asked is that they try at all costs to conserve what blood Ava had left which was approaching the 1/2 of normal level already, even before any blood draws.

This doctor believed it could be done. He ordered no blood tests except when absolutely necessary, like if she were to appear sick. As long as her vitals were good, they would watch the monitors for any signs of her being in danger or distress.  

We had also brought information on a drug called Epogen, which is a blood builder. It is often used in treating people who have lost blood and do not want a blood transufsion which is turning out to be many more than just Jehovah's Witnesses.

Anyways, this doctor was not familiar with Epogen which was a surprise kind of to me, but he was willing to learn and immediately called a nearby hospital who did use it often to find out how to adminsiter it to such a tiny preemie. I was REALLY impressed. I was exceited and felt very hopeful at this point.        

I stayed with her for a bit longer and then went and reported what I knew to my daughter. I tried to keep it upbeat and the news had been really good considering the circumstances. She was still was not ready to see Ava yet. She had had a very radical c-section and had lost a large quantity of blood herself. She was very weak and exhausted. My husband and I spent the day in and out with Ava, taking pictures to our daughter, a little at a time, to ready her for what she was going to see.

The following day she was ready. She got in her wheelchair and we headed down to the NICU where she would see her baby girl for the very first time...........

To see OUR STORY IN PICTURES pease go to http://www.avababys.com/servlet/the-template/Our%20Story%20in%20Pictures/Page

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