15 Feb 2009 12:55 PM

Valuing Friendships

At what age did your child first begin to develop friendships with other children? Obviously as young children they have kids with whom they interact or play with, but when did they truly begin to develop and understand friendship? As I was reading a developmental textbook, I read that children value close, meaningful friendships, rather than wide range acceptance by peers. Although I found this interesting, it is comforting to know that kids would rather have a close relationship with few individuals than to have emotionless and virtually meaningless relationships with many people. I find this interesting because as I have grown up, I have always been warned about the effects of peer pressure. However, I have noticed that most peer pressure has not come from those I consider my true friends. Rather, it comes from those whom I consider my acquaintances. I understand the effects that peer pressure can have, but am a bit confused as to why it has such an effect? This book states that a child would choose to have meaningful relationships over popularity, but if this is truly accurate, then why do kids give in to peer pressure? From my experience,it is usually done so that they can gain popularity, not with their friends but with others, and often they will lose their true friends through their attempts of gaining popularity. This book's conclusion regarding friendship seems contradictory to what I have experienced throughout my life. 

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