Beth McHugh's comments

Having a Sibling with Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Blog Entry

20 Apr 2010 01:57 AM

Hi Safeworkplace, I'm so sorry that all this has happened to you and you are continuing being drawn into this toxic envirnonment by your brother. I have written many articles on NPD, you can find them by clicking on Narcissitic Personality Disorder on the right hand side of this page. Understanding the problem is the first step in precover. If you need additioanl help setting boundaries and/or dealing with your mother and brother you can always contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com

Best wishes, Beth

Why Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder So Little Known? (1) - Blog Entry

20 Apr 2010 01:36 AM

Hi Iamerika, thank you for your lovely comments, I'm glad you were able to find comfort in the articles I have written on NPD. You have also done so well in finding an excellent thearpist to help you step out from the sticky web that narcissisit parents create. Often having therapy is the short cut to recovery and eliminates years of addtional pain. Having that unbiased yet trained third party can do wonders as it has with you. Yet you have also put in the hard work, because no therapist can work with a client who doens't want to put in the hours. So congratulations! You are one of the success stories! Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

19 Apr 2010 03:31 PM

Hi Diana, lying as such is not one of the requisites for the disorder but in order to maintain their power and ego, there needs to be a certain amount of lying going on. Mostly it is to the self and others are often unaware of the internal lying and justification going on. Othertimes it is more blatant. Because they are in touch with a type of reality, they usually know at the time that an off the cuff lie is a lie, because if you immediatley challenge they will likely change the subject and attack you in another area. Therefore there is some grasp of reality there. Other, longer standing lies I think just get woven into the fabric of thier lives, but then, other sane peope do this too. That is why lying is not part of the diagnostic requirements for this disorder. We can all live in denial at times but we are not all narcissist! Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

19 Apr 2010 03:25 PM

Hi Copycat, you brought up an interesting point when you mentioned that surely having cancer would have an effect on your mother and allow her to cahnge her ways. With many people this is the case, and they completly change their lives around being given a second chance as it were. The whole point of why NPD is included in the personality disorders section of the DSM-IV-TR is that the condition affects the netire personality, so external events such as having cancer cannot penetrate the behavior becasue they know no other way to behave. Might have to write an article on this pehnomenon as it illustrates perfectly the absolute and total effect that sliding into narcissim is non-reversible and represents the personality in its totality. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

19 Apr 2010 03:16 PM

For the two readers who have mothers with money problems and general irresponsibilities, it is possible that these women are actually suffering from more than one personality disorder - - what is known as a co-morbidity. Having money troubles to this extent is not one of the characteristics of NPD but is is of other disorders. Obvioulsy I cannot diagnose with only the information given on this forum, but you may be looking at a more complex situation than just narcissism. As if that isn't enough! Best wishes, Beth

Having a Sibling with Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Blog Entry

18 Apr 2010 04:15 PM

Hi Grizelda, in terms of what can be done about this disorder, it's really a case of by the time it's developed, it's too late. Education regarding the presence of the disorder in addition to therapy for the victims of the Narcissist are the avenues left. NPD is also on the increase as a result of the increasing environmental input into the disorder, but more on that later!

Best, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

16 Apr 2010 12:17 AM

Hi Diana, despite a shaky early start, or perhaps because of it, youhave been able to not be caught up in the sticky web that being the child of a narcissitic mother can often lead you to. Yet you have also had to del with her repeated efforts to bring you back into the fold. Luckily you have been able to resist and set your own course in life. Now you know what you were dealing with, which will make it even easier to avoid any further manipulation. Thanks for contributing your story, which gives hope to others who are presently stuck in difficult situations with their NPD parent. Best, Beth

Another Suicide, Another Pain-filled Life Ended - Blog Entry

13 Apr 2010 03:52 PM

Hi Mary Ann, thanks for your comment. You are lucky to live in a supportive area but we must keep trying to show concern for our neighbors, as the stigma surrounding mental illness causes people, males in particular, to bottle things up and suddenly there is a terrible surprise for friends and family when one of them commits suicide. Just a small effort can make all the difference to a depressed person, so keep up the good work in your happy neighbourhood! Best wishes, Beth

Another Suicide, Another Pain-filled Life Ended - Blog Entry

13 Apr 2010 03:47 PM

Jacky, so sorry to hear of the losses to suicide in your circle of friends and relatives. It's such an unnecessary end to a life and often for want of someone to talk to , someone to be there and someone to be reliable and not walk away after the first week or so of trouble in a person's life. I guess the only way to remove the stigma of mental illness is to freely discuss it, but it is remarkable that, despite much effort by many organizations, they are still a lot of people out there who believe that mental illness is a form of personal weakness. That is, until it happens to them! You have encouraged me to write yet another artocle on suicide, this time outlining the stigma on suicide which actually increases the number of suicides, rather than reducing them. Thanks for your comment!

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

13 Apr 2010 04:13 AM

Hi Greenpintobean, no, being in debt is not one of the classic NPD signs, but your mother certainly has boundary problems and a lack of respect for others. To deal with her yourself, you will need to learn to set up firm boundaries since nothing will change unless you change. You may not need to cut all contact with her, some people find this causes them too much pain but it is possible to have a less stressful relationship with your mother, if not a satisfying one. If you feel you need extra help in getting started you are welcome to contact me at youronlinecounselor.com Best wishes, Beth