Beth McHugh's comments

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

13 Apr 2010 04:08 AM

Hi Concerned aunt, you are in a veryt difficult position becasue you hav very little real power over the situaion. But your brother does. But it is he who needs to be seeing the situation for what it really is and who nees to take matters in hand. Can you persuade him to see a therapist just to talk about what is happening? In the meantime, do all you can to be a substitute mother to these girls. They need you and they need to get a lot of praise to counteract the damage that is being done by their mother. Get back to me if Dad won't act. Best wishes, Beth

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

11 Apr 2010 04:32 PM

Hi Ray, this is wonderful news and also wonderful hope for other husbands in your position. Keep up all that you have done for your wife and hopefully life will settle down for you over time. If you decide to have another child further down the track, it is important to tell her obstetrician of this event so that she can be monitored and hopefully any other epsiodes which could possibly occur can be nipped in the bud. Best wishes, Beth

The Relative Effects of Family Members with Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Blog Entry

11 Apr 2010 03:36 PM

Hi Carol, There is no need to feel shame -- this occurrence is no reflection on you. It shows just what your mother and first boyfriend are really like. The latter we can possibly excuse as he may have been quite young and unable to understand the complexities of the situation. What concerns me is that the authorities had doubts about your mother yet went ahead with the adoption process. If your mother does have NPD then she is incapable of loving you in the way you deserve and the suffering that brings is immeasurable. I hope you have been able to reconstruct your life in spite of your mother's attempts to harm you emotionally. Best wishes, Beth

Why Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder So Little Known? (2) - Blog Entry

11 Apr 2010 03:27 PM

Hi Carol, it's always best to keep your comments helpful and constructive. Often people who comment on my mental health blogs are in a considerable amount of emotional pain and insensitive comments only add to that sense of helplessness. Something more compassionate is more likely to bring about change, which surely is what everyone would want in this type of situation. Best wishes, Beth

Speaking Ill of the Dead - Blog Entry

11 Apr 2010 03:15 PM

Hi Safeworkplace, thanks for your thouhgtful comments. I agree that the so-called "Carer's Group" is sadly deluded and that those who leave this world early because no-one would share their journey of pain for even a little while are showing up our own poor levels of compassion. What a sad world it is if people must commit suicide because they feel so hopeless.

The experience of losing a parent - Blog Entry

08 Apr 2010 04:55 PM

Hi Sarah, I'm so sorry to hear your Dad has died, and now your nan. This is a lot for anyone to cope with, an especially when you are so young. You are not stupid either - -you are grieiving. The grieving process goes on for at least a year -- that is a minimum, even though it looks like the world thinks otherwise. You are expected to "snap out" of things very quickly. But the mind doesn't keep to a timetable and you are behaving in a normal way to an abnormal situation -- your dad isn't supposed to die so young. Whatever behaviors you are doing are a cry for help and you need someone to talk to and have lots of hugs and let out lots of tears. Is there anyone in your family that you can talk to about how you are feeling? Or a kind neighbor? What about the school counselor? These are the first ports of call. Let me know if any of these peopel are availble to you emotionally. Your friends will most likely be too young to really understand so you need to talk to an older person who has some experience of grief. You don't have to be alone in this. Best wishes, Beth

Why Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder So Little Known? (2) - Blog Entry

25 Mar 2010 02:50 PM

Hi Hewyre, from what you have written it is possible that your husband could be suffering from one of several disorders. Certainly his behavior is inconsiderate beyond the norm. Unfortunately, t is not possible for me to diagnose in the context of this forum. If you would like a diagnosis by proxy I can formulate a questionnaire that includes questions about several different disorders so we can accurately pinpoint which, if any, disorders your husband suffers from. For further assistance contact me at youronlinecounselor.com

Best wishes, Beth

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

22 Mar 2010 04:08 PM

Hi Adrian, Have you tried talking about this to her doctor? Also has she asked for a divorce? Do you have as much time with your children as you wish or does she restrict that? Have you asked her what she sees for your future together? I would suggest chasing these avenues to gauge her reply? Do her friends notice a change in her also?

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

21 Mar 2010 10:10 PM

Hi Adrian, yes PPD could be triggering this, particularly as it began so soon after the birth of your second child. The hormonal shifts can also exacerbate what is already present or they can be acting on their own. Either way, it is important to seek counseling but so often the mother will not do this. Yes, PPD can last thins long and much longer if untreated. Can you talk to her parents? They may be reluctant to become involved but it is important for your mental health that you know where you stand, even it is means the end of the relationship. The not knowing and the helplessness would be causing you extreme pain. Try the parents and see how you go. Best., Beth.

Still Waiting For Mr. Right? - Blog Entry

21 Mar 2010 09:04 PM

Hi Jacky, Yes i agree. This is not normal behavior which is why I included this anecdote in the mental health section. In fact, together with other behaviors this particular woman indulges in it is likely she has borderline personality disorder. However, other mental illnesses are also associated with the above behavior, so an accurate diagnosis is always required. Nevertheless, it is apparent to even a casula observer that this is not normal nor appropriate behavior, either for herself or her children who are in her care. Best wishes, Beth