Beth McHugh's comments

The Aging Narcissistic Parent (1) - Blog Entry

21 Mar 2010 04:01 PM

Hi pregasaurus, singling out a child is not as common as playing one child off against another as more benfits are to be reaped from the latter. But the NPD parent will naturally be attrated to the weakest (read most sensitive) as they are the ones who are most easily manipulated. Good on you for escaping the trap your mother has placed you in, you have a wonderful future to look forward to. She does not. If you need further help in working through any unresolved issues you can contact me at youronlineccounselor.com Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

14 Mar 2010 03:55 PM

Hi Anony, You are describing the typical feelings of a child who has been emotionally neglected by a parent. Your mother certainly has somme NPD traits but I cannot confirm that she has in the confines of this forum. Whatever, you have been hevily influenced by her and have taken on some of her thinking as your own even though you know it is wrong. This is where the power of the parent to brainwash comes in.. But this can be challenged and changed. If you feel you need extra help in eradicating the hurt that growing up in this environment has caused, you can always contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com

Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

13 Mar 2010 05:58 PM

Well done scjaleeah, you have stood your ground and refused to budge. The fact that she is your grandmother makes it easier for you to do this, so others reading this who are dealing with a NPD parent are not in the same boat. The latter is more difficult to do. However, this is great news and shows that, yes, there is life after narcissism. Best wishes, Beth

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

12 Mar 2010 06:37 PM

Sad Dad, you need to get into counseling yourself, one who is able to testify on your behlf in court as well as provide support for you in the interim. Best, Beth

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

11 Mar 2010 05:14 PM

Hi Sad Dad, I am not a lawyer but I too feel uncomfortable about the advice to move out. That could be interpreted by her lawyer in a way detrimental to you. So, as you say I would seek a ssecond opinion. 50% custody sounds good, and if your wife declines in her care of the children you can always go later for more custody. They need their mother too as long as she cares adequatley for them. But ddefinitley seek more advice on this matter bec=fore you make your move. Beth

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

11 Mar 2010 04:25 PM

Hi Sad Dad, From what you are saying in your post, it does seem like you may be dealing with more than just PPD here. I would definitley seel legal advice as you are doing and also seek counseling yourself to explain the situation yo suspect you are in. You may find the family court lawyer may be helpful in this situation since mental illness can not uincommonly form a reason for gettinga divorce. You certainly need the assistance of a psychologist to give you some ide of exactly what you are dealing with here. In the meantime, it is important that you do as you are doing and keep contact with and support of your child. Best wishes, Beth

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

08 Mar 2010 03:14 PM

Hi Diana, you have at least got the knowledge of wart you are dealing with and can see some of the effects it can have on a woman and hence a relationship. If you would like counseling help you can contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com In the meantime, ensure that you have as many support people around you as you can, take time out for yourself, rest, and talk about how you are feeling. Don't keep it in. I know all this is hard with a young baby, but you will come out of this phase in time. Best wishes, Beth

The experience of losing a parent - Blog Entry

01 Mar 2010 03:47 PM

Hi Robbie, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's death and yes, it does seem all surreal, especially when you are not even back home but far away. This feeling is normal as your mind goes into a kind of partial shutdown and lets in as much information as you can deal with. Part of your brain knows it has happened, and yet another part can't really get a handle on it. Especially as we know no life without our mother in it by definition. Be happy for all those lovely memories you have with her - they will never go away and having positive memories will help you to get through the grieving process easier. If you read my other articles of grieving, you will see that it is not a quick process, even though society will want you to "speed it up". It takes a minimum of 12 months to get through all the milestones, so don't be too hard on yourself if you find that you are still having troubles in the months to come. All that is normal. If you hadn't loved her, you wouldn't grieve. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

26 Feb 2010 06:59 PM

Hi Joe, Your brother has part of the right idea, but in order to be able to detach from your mother you will need to examine your beliefs about yourself, your mother and the mother-son relationship. It is not possible to presetn a 10-point plan for dealing with narcissitists in a forum such as this becasue each person is attached to their parent for differetn reasons. Your brother, for example,is not as attached as you are and there witll be a reason for this. If you woudl like help in dealing with your mother so that her behaviors affect you less then you are very welcome to contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com

You can't change your mother, but you can motst certainly change you. Best wishes, Beth

Why Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder So Little Known? (1) - Blog Entry

23 Feb 2010 04:34 PM

Hi Grizelda, Yes, good old Freud, he started us all thinking, although people have been observing human behavior long before him of course. NPD is not particularly new, it has been categorized for quite a long time. I think the problem is that when a person goes for therapy they come with a bag of symptoms such as depression, anger, anxiety etc and many but not all therapists look to the person as the "problem" that they have to solve. That is, the client is the sick person. In the case of being the adult child of a narcissist, yes, there is a "sickness invovled but it is not primary to the client. If the the clientl does not express themselves well, or the therapist is not aware of the true effects of NPD (which are often ignored, even in textbooks) then it seems the client is the one with a disorder. Fortunately many therapists also look at the environment in which the person is living in and then it can become more obvious that part of the problem is due to a NPD mother. The reason the symptoms of your parent fit with the designated symptoms of NPD is that it has taken many years of research to clarify and categorize these symptoms so mistakes are kept to a minimum. It is important however to have a professional assessment, because in just my own experience alone I have had several clients who believe their parent is NPD only to find that they are either not, or they are suffering from another personality disorder completely. Somethimes it can be very difficult even for a trained professional to accurately diagnose a person with NPD if they have a mild form of the disorder. I have some more articles on NPD coming up! Best, Beth