Beth McHugh's comments

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

31 Jan 2010 04:06 PM

Hi Ray, I really can't answer the last few questions because it is your wife who knows the answers and even she, at this point in time, may have trouble answering them. Because of her previous history with depression, she did have a higher than average change of developing PPD than the average women, so it does sounds like she is exhibiting some of the signs of this. especially as things changed after the birth of your child. Some of her beliefs are also consistent with having PPD but she really needs to be diagnosed. Would she go along and see her obstetrician? Although s/he is not a psychiatrist, this may be less threatenign for her and they may be able to talk her into seeking professional help. You are in a difficult situation since her recovery depends on either time, or professional help, but know that a lot of what she is feeling has nothing to do with you. Just stay supportive and help her with the housework as much as you can. She needs rest, love and a sense of security. If she would like counseling she can contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com or encourage her to seek help with a local psychiatrist or psychologist. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

24 Jan 2010 04:52 PM

Hi Gypsy, there is a way to rid yourself of the guilt but it requires you to work on changing your belief systems about yourself, your mother and particularly, the mother-daughter relationship. At leasr you have gotten to the recovery point of realizing your can't have a normal relationship with her and know you can't chnage her. This is great progress in itself. If you need help down the track in dealing withthe guilt of not having contact you can contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com

Best wishes, Beth

Consumerism and Mental Health - Blog Entry

21 Jan 2010 06:12 PM

Yes, somehow we all need to make a stand. But then everyone weakens and the pressure to compete, especially where young children are involved is high. We justhave to learn to say "No"! to all this Christmas nonsense and then quietly leave the room!

More Positive Thoughts to Ponder (2) - Blog Entry

20 Jan 2010 03:50 PM

Hi Homecar, Coping with major depression can be difficut but, like you say, attitide is important. You may not be able to overcome a dperssive day every day but doing what you are doing is a major step to altering your life and I want to congratulate you for all the self-work you are doing and hope that your episodes with depression become shorter and greater spaced. You might like to read my articles on depression if you haven't alreay done so, these may help as well. Best wishes, Beth

Do you worry about what other people think? - Blog Entry

18 Jan 2010 03:51 PM

Hi Swannyson, do you only worry about what people think about you at work or does it happen in other areas of your life as well? If it is only the former, do you feel that you are not qualified enough for the job? The latter can cause problems, but many people who are very knowledgable and well qualified also worry that they are not "good enough". Often thy do do excellent work, but lack the self -confidence to see themselves in their true light. Sometimes a critical parenting experience can leave people open to worrying at work because the criticism they endured from parents is taken over by the boss. As for peopel talking about others at work, sadly it is a fact of life and it's something we all have to learn to cope with. If it's really bothering you, you can contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com

Being on probation will cause your anxiety levels to rise, but this is only natural. Try to do your best -- I'm sure you already are and hopefully your boss will see that you are a valuable employee. Best wishes, Beth

Positive Proof: Marijuana Can Trigger Psychosis - Blog Entry

17 Jan 2010 03:46 PM

Marijuana does have some useful medical uses under guided supervision but it is definitely implicated in initiating psychotic episodes in susceptible people. Apart from textbook cases, I know of many anecdotal cases where this drug has induced psychotic episodes. In one sad case, one of my peers now lives in a group home due to the effects of smoking pot. No-one knows who is susceptible until it's too late. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

11 Jan 2010 04:51 PM

Hi Delphi, thanks for sharing your story. It helps for others to know that they are not alone. It's great that you have recognised the problem and have decided to avoid your mother, although physical avoidance doesn't necessarily equate wioth freedom and the scars of a narcissistic-inspried childhood linger on. Your friend's mother who commited suicide actually may have been suffering from another personality disorder which has some traits in common. Suicide is not in the narcissitst's bag of tricks since that goes against their basic belief system. That accounts for the frequency in their maxim that "the problem is with you, not with me!" and their inabilty to admit that they are wrong and their inability to even see a need for counseling. Anyway, keep plugging away, if you need additional help you can always contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com

Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

11 Jan 2010 04:44 PM

Hi Sandravg, congratulations on coming out from your mother's shadow at last. Yes, people suffering ffrom NPD are to be pitied on one level because they can never be happy, but to get to that space yourself you have to be absolutely free of her influence over you. Sounds like you are well on your way. Best wishes, Beth

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

06 Jan 2010 07:11 PM

Hi Drumguy, it could be depression related, or it could be that her new situation has highlighted issues that are ongoing in her life. It's great though that she is seeing a doctor, hopefully things will get sorted out for her and for you. Hang in there, this is a stressful time for her and she may have been depressed slightly even before the birth. I hope things go well for you both. Best.. Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

31 Dec 2009 05:39 PM

Thank you Timid Rabbit .....timid no more! Thanks for sharing your story and it's great that you have been able to escape the trap of the mnarcissistic parent. No, she will never tell you she loves you, she will never be the mother you want her to be, and this forms part of the greiving process that you will go through with your therapist. Detaching emotioanlly and accpeting the truth will be your goals and I'm sure you are in good hands and will come out the other side a stronger, happier person and pssibly even a guide for your younfer siblings who have yet to discover the true nature of the journey they are on.

Best wishes, Beth