Beth McHugh's commentsComments On: EverythingArticles Blogs Journals Photos created by: EveryoneBeth Hugs and Mental Health - Blog Entry25 Oct 2008 11:40 PM Hi geblueeyes, pets are such wonderful givers of unconditional love! I'm so glad that you have a cat to hug and love you and for you to have your cat to give love to. They seem to know when you need a hug too. Pets can often be much better companions than two-legged creatures, and they keep you warm in winter too! I do agree that people who live alone are far better off if they have a companion animal. Unfortunately many care facilities for seniors do not allow them for many reasons, but it is a shame as they hold so much potential for love. Hugs and Mental Health - Blog Entry25 Oct 2008 11:33 PM Well, we do know that the absence of touching in babies, apart from the essentials of nappy changing and bathing, can actually result in death, as the infant wastes away from lack of physical touch. So I would imagine that the more genuine, (and they need to be genuine, not ritual,) hugs that one receives, the better chance of maintaining good mental health. And that applies from infancy right through to old age. We need hugs! The experience of losing a parent - Blog Entry23 Oct 2008 11:36 PM Hi cici, the experience of your mother's early death has sensitized you to the idea of death but it doesn't have to be permanent. Have you thought about having grief counseling? It is not uncommon to feel the way you are after a death but as it isn't going away over time, you might benefit from help so that you can start really enjoying life again. I'm sure your mother would want you to be happy, nor would she be upset that you weren't with her at the end. You were very young and it would be good if you could forgive yourself. After all, you didn't do anything wrong, you were simply frightened of what was happening. Do you have a grief counselor in your local area? You might benefit from a chat. Best wishes, Beth Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry22 Oct 2008 10:55 PM Hi sc62049, vent away! It does sound like you are putting up some healthy boundaries to mimimize the harm caused by your grandma. So that is great. Best wishes, Beth Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry19 Oct 2008 01:46 PM Hi getitat61, it is wonderful news that you have finally discovered what has been driving your mother's behavior all these years and great that you have been setting boundaries that she must adhere to. Yes, she will give you the run around getting her into the home, and even when she is there, she will still try to manipulate from a distance, because there really is no such thing as distance for a narcissist until you successfully detach yourself from her emotionally. This involves alternating phases of anger and grief as you go through the acceptable process of what it means to have a narcissistic mother. I wish you well in your journey! Best wishes, Beth Mental Health Week in Review: September 30-October 7 - Blog Entry18 Oct 2008 02:53 PM The above article, in part, deals with histrionic personality disorder. The symptoms outlined in the articles relating to Sarah-Kate above, a sufferer of histrionic personality disorder, are not equivalent to either borderline personality disorder or autism. Our hypothetical Sarah-Kate is a school teacher so she would be unlikely to suffer from autism, and her symptoms differ from BPD. Diagnosis of mental illness can be quite painstaking at times and certainly medication would not be prescribed prior to an in-depth assessment of the client. This is particularly the case when dealing with personality disorders. This is why it is very important to seek a diagnosis from a professional, and not to self-diagnose from internet sites, for example. I do not agree that if the medication works, the diagnosis is correct, and although I do disagree with the way in which some psychiatrists strike with pills first and foremost, often unnecessarily, they would prescribe according to what they see as the primary presenting problem. As I do not work with medication, it is my focus to listen to my clients difficulties and work with them towards developing a more stable and happy life. Best wishes, Beth Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry18 Oct 2008 02:31 PM Hi echo, it's great that you have clearly identified that contact with mother equals depression for you. It is also important for you to realize that the reason you have felt bad about yourself all your life are to do with the messages you absorbed as a child from your parents. But that doesn't mean that these messages were true! Here is an area for you to work on in the future -- looking at the false beliefs you still carry about yourself which originate from early messages and examining whether or not there is any basis in fact concerning them. As to extracting money out of your mother, well, you can try, but you would need to be prepared as to how you were going to approach the issue and most importantly, how you would deal with possible rejection. Best wishes, Beth Telling People about your Mental Illness - Blog Entry18 Oct 2008 02:22 PM Hi tknbunni, looking at brain scans showing damage caused by introduced substances such as crystal meth and coke is a lot different to attempting to measure natural neurotransmitters in the brain. Psychiatrists I have spoken to or worked with have all admitted that reseachers have little idea how antidepressants and antipsychotics effect the brain simply becasue at present we do not possess the technology to measure the relative amounts of neurochemicals in the brain. The mechanisms via which these drugs work remains at a theory level only. Hence sufferers of depression, for example, may have to try a selection of antidepressants before finding one that is suitable for them. It still is, unfortunately, a case of stabbing in the dark when it comes to finding the right medication and this is can be very disturbing for the sick client, as much time is involved in changing from one medication type to another. I find the article: http://mental-health.families.com/blog/depression-the-myth-of-chemical-imbalance very interesting since it clearly outlines the truth about the real efficacy of antidepressants. As I have said in many articles, there is nothing wrong with taking medication, in fact, in some cases, medication is not only necessary but a life saver. While medications partially alleviates some symptoms it does not change the life situation and self-beliefs of the consumer. I have yet to meet a happy person suffering form depression and by that, I mean, that for each person I have worked with who suffers from depression, there are underlying reasons which are driving that depression. So via a combination of medication and therapy, an attempt is made to get to the root cause of each person's troubles. This of course does not include sufferers of schizophrenia, for example, where permanent physical changes can be found in the structure of the brain. This is not the case for sufferers of anxiety disorders and depression. For me, this is always seen as a sign of hope for change for sufferers of these extraordinarily debilitating conditions. Best wishes, Beth Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry16 Oct 2008 09:50 PM Hi Lori, it is devastating to not have your mother acknowledge your sexual assaults, but it is even harder to acknowledge to yourself that, if your mother indeed suffers from NPD, that she isn't capable of loving you in the way you need and deserve. One of the ways you can help yourself is to read up on NPD from reputable sources. Knowing exactly what you are dealing with is essential if you are to successfully protect yourself from ongoing harm from your mother. She will have a lesser effect on your son than she will on you as her daughter, but you still need to keep watch on how she interacts with him as some damage can still be done. But as long as he has you to provide a primary source of love he will not experience the pain of having a NPD mother. It is also hard when you don't want to see your mother and yet you want your son to do so, so there will be potential conflict and certainly psychological stress at each meeting. So understanding is the first step, acceptance of reality is the next (and hardest ) step for you to encounter. It can be difficult to do this at least intially without the aid of a counselor but try to remember what your counselor had told you in the past about how to deal with your mother and go from there. Hope this helps, best wishes, Beth 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 |
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