Beth McHugh's comments

Defending Yourself Against the Aging Narcissist (1) - Blog Entry

12 Oct 2008 02:08 PM

Hi glastron, as you've now had an experience of such a person you will find your antennae is better developed to protect yourself by being better able to read the signs earlier. Realistically, both narcissists and people suffering from HPD can be immensely charming at first and it can take time to suss out the more stable ones whose behaviors are less obvious. Most people get roped in up to a point and you seem to have cottoned on to the existence of a problem relatively quickly. This experience will only serve to hone your skills at detecting others who may cross your path. Hope this helps, Beth.

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

11 Oct 2008 02:56 PM

Hi Robert, how old is the baby and how long has your partner been exhibiting these signs? Also, is it possible for you to take some time off work to go visit her? It is difficult to sort out this type of situation from a distance. When you see her in person you would be in a better position to see how well she is coping with the baby and whether she is having difficulties coping in general with everyday activities. It would also be easier to persuade her to have counseling with you if you were there to go with her. I'm sure you are trying your hardest from a distance but in this situation your actual presence would be best for both of your sakes. Best wishes, Beth

The experience of losing a parent - Blog Entry

11 Oct 2008 02:19 PM

Hi Materialgirl, I am sorry to hear of the loss of your father, especially as he was your "special" parent as compared to your mother, and so young. You are still in the very early stages of grief yet unfortunately people such as your brother's GF will continue to make hurtful statements that may make you feel that you are somehow wrong to be grieving still. Or that your life will now be somehow better now. But you know the truth.

In http://mental-health.families.com/blog/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-death I talked about the pressure that society puts on us to "get over it". Yet mental health studies show repeatedly that it takes longer to get over a death than society in general allows us. And by "getting over" we really mean acceptance, because in reality we would not chose to live our lives without our loved one. We go through a process of adjustment to the fact that they are gone. You have yet to go through all the milestones that a year brings; things like Christmas, your father's birthday, your own, etc, hence it is all so new and raw for you. My father has been dead for seven years and although it took a while, the intense pain has passed. That doesn't mean I wouldn't love him to pop in for Christmas lunch. Little things bring him back but the feeling has changed over time. One of the things that helped me was to tell myself that he had gone through the same experience with his own father, and his father before him and that if he could do it, so could I. Cry when you need to and, as time passes, the happy memories will come to be stronger in your mind. I know it doesn't feel that way now however. Best wishes, Beth

Front Loading Washing Machines Promote Mold - Blog Entry

08 Oct 2008 09:45 PM

I have been using a front loader for 15 years and have never had a problem with mold or smelly clothes. I don't leave the door open either, so no worries here! I wouldn't trade my front loader for a top loader any day. Maybe someone could pay me to do an ad for mine!

The experience of losing a parent - Blog Entry

07 Oct 2008 10:36 PM

My father also died of cancer but I consider it a blessing that he passed peacefully and we had time together before he died for me to say all that I needed to. Kblain, things do happen for a reason and I was so fortunate that my father did not go suddenly when I would not have had the precious time I had with him before he left. I hope that you were able to say goodbye in your own way to your Dad, and cherish the times that you spent together. It does take time to get over the death of a parent as you literally know no life without them. But we all get through it in our own time. You might also like to have a read of http://mental-health.families.com/blog/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-death Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

06 Oct 2008 02:55 PM

Hi her-protector, what a lucky woman your wife is to have a person like you on her side. Hopefully now that your MIL's true character is visible to all, your wife and you will grow closer from the incident and finally cut the ties between you and this abusive mother. Thanks for sharing your story. Best wishes, Beth

Narcissism-Symptoms and Treatment (1) - Blog Entry

06 Oct 2008 02:47 PM

Hi tiredofdysfunction, it certainly sounds like your mother has problems empathizing with others, and that there is a culture of blame and shame within the family itself. More boundaries are required here to protect yourself, particularly from your brother. I would need to ask you a host of questions to determine if your mother really has NPD, and for your own peace of mind you would be best to try to challenge your brother to care for your mother if he does not like the way you are handling the situation. This will naturally cause him to back off since it seems unlikely that he will take on the role. Similarly, it is not appropriate for your siblings to "run to your door" and then criticize the help they receive. Yet you have to look at your own role in maintaining that particular scenario. You have more power here in this situation than you realize and yet you must guard against the stress of caring for an elderly mother, particularly one so hostile. Setting boundaries and keeping them are so important in situations such as these. You can contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com if you need additional assistance in dealing with the situation. Best wishes, Beth

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward: A Lesson in Long Marriages Hollywood-Style - Blog Entry

01 Oct 2008 02:34 PM

Lovely article, Court! Newman and Woodward are truly an inspiration!

Panic Disorder: Case Studies (2) - Blog Entry

01 Oct 2008 01:56 PM

Hi Corey, yes the symptoms of a panic attack are terrifying and that is why it is so difficult to dismiss the symptoms as being "not important". People who have never had a panic attack do not realize how all-encompassing the feelings are. But you are correct in saying that there is a huge leap between this type of symptoms and psychosis. You will not develop schizophrenia through having panic attacks. Best wishes, Beth

The Power of Friendship - Blog Entry

26 Sep 2008 05:56 PM

Thanks, Dale, I guess my favorite would be the Eleanor Roosevelt one. If you can't be kind and non-judgmental to yourself and nurture yourself at a deep level, you'll struggle with doing the same to your friends.