Beth McHugh's commentsComments On: EverythingArticles Blogs Journals Photos created by: EveryoneBeth The experience of losing a parent - Blog Entry13 Sep 2008 02:56 PM Hi Yambasticks, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your mother and you are right, the pain doesn't really go away, it just changes shape as we adjust to the loss of the loved one. Although there are painful memories of loss, those memories also serve to keep our loved ones alive in our hearts. It sounds like your mother has done her job and "taught you well" and you can draw on her strength and inspiration and her words to get you through the hard times. Best wishes, Beth Escaping the Trap of the Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry10 Sep 2008 03:18 PM Hi epiphany, the disorder worsens with age, as you are witnessing. Also the absence of your father means that you now cop the full brunt of her thinking and behavioral patterns. It's very difficult but it helps if you at least know what you are dealing with. You may find in your journey to recovery that you experience a range of emotions, including intense grief and anger. This is normal and part of the detaching process. Good luck with integrating your new-found knowledge into your relationship with your mom. Hopefully you will be able to see her with a whole new perspective. If you need assistance, you can contact me at my website. Best wishes, Beth Escaping the Trap of the Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry09 Sep 2008 03:18 PM Hi firstborn, as your mother ages the disorder becomes more pronounced as the narcissist struggles to cope with the changes that the aging process inevitably brings. That "rage at aging" is then taken out on the adult children. Now that your father has died, the buffer zone is gone so you are now on the receiving end of the full force of her particular brand of narcissistic rage. It's a difficult situation but one that you can at least share with your sister. Your mother will continue to play her manipulative games and in order to achieve any peace in your life, you will have to learn to detach, at least emotionally, from wanting your mother to change and give up the hope that things can ever be different as that is what is driving your pain and also keeping you on a treadmill of trying to please her. This you can never do and ironically the more you do, the more she will demand and find fault in you. It is also perfectly normal that she shows little interest in your children. If you would like assistance in going through the detaching and associated grieving process so that you can deal with your mother in a more satisfying way you are welcome to contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com Best wishes, Beth Marriages without Sex (3) - Blog Entry07 Sep 2008 10:24 PM But this article is about marriages without sex. The Desperate Housewives Effect - Blog Entry07 Sep 2008 10:21 PM There is nothing wrong with healthy levels of exercise, it is an obsessive belief that we need to be super-slim to be happy that is the problem. Coping with Death - Blog Entry07 Sep 2008 02:48 AM PS: Courtney, I have the grief article coming up next! Beth Coping with Death - Blog Entry07 Sep 2008 02:47 AM Hi Court, it's events like you describe with your mom that really enrich our lives....even though we have to lose something to get that gift. Maybe that was your mom's gift to you. We really need remnders of how important it is to seize the day. Thanks, Court! Optimizing Development of Your Baby - Blog Entry06 Sep 2008 02:45 AM The last comment had to be deleted for its inappropriate content. Coping with Death - Blog Entry05 Sep 2008 07:30 PM Possibly so, but I know many people who would consider themselves to be religious and yet cannot face talking about their own mortality. I guess it is often a case of "everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die!" The fact that we as a society are so removed from the immediacy of death also makes it harder to accept. I really dislike the astro turf at the cemetery in order to make it all look nice. But the reality is, no matter what route you take, it's ashes to ashes, dust to dust! Should You Confront a Narcissist about their Narcissism? - Blog Entry05 Sep 2008 05:46 PM Hi MadeMad, I really don't have the scope in this forum to deal with all the issues you have raised, and it is possible that you are not dealing with narcissistic personality disorder here. Please feel free to contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com if you would like personalized counseling regarding this matter. Best wishes, Beth 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 |
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