Beth McHugh's commentsComments On: EverythingArticles Blogs Journals Photos created by: EveryoneBeth Babies and Dreaming - Blog Entry03 Feb 2008 06:16 PM Hi Angie, it's all interesting info, isn't it? Even as they sleep they are busy exercising their brains! Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry03 Feb 2008 03:32 PM Dear Tired, as you see you are not alone in having a mother with NPD. It is a terrible burden for any child to bear, especially as they have no way of knowing that there is something wrong with "Mom". Knowledge about the disorder comes later in life, unfortunately much damage has been done in the meantime. If you would like assistance in learning ways to better cope with your mother, you are welcome to contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry01 Feb 2008 10:05 PM Hi Achingforlove, your mother displays many of the characteristics of narcissism and having a mother who suffers from NPD is one of most demanding roles for a child of that parent to undertake. There are really only two solutions to dealing with such people. One is complete avoidance which many adult children are understandably unable to do. Even doing this required emotional work to be done as mere aviodance still leave you with unresolved sadness and anger. The other is to learn healthier ways of dealing with narcissists. The change must come from you, as it is not possible to change another person, particularly one suffering from NPD. If you would like further assistance you are welcome to contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com Having Trouble Sleeping? (4) - Blog Entry30 Jan 2008 02:11 PM Hi Butterfly13, try listening to meditation tapes every day and take time out for at least 30 minutes of exercise and meditation. Also you can begin what I call "worry time" where you consciously spend a set period of time each day worrying about your problems. You can also journal your problems as getting your thoughts out on paper is preferable to having them go round in your head. If you feel you need further assistance, you can contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com Coping with an adult with Asperger's (4) - Blog Entry25 Jan 2008 03:46 PM Hi Gramanana, ask your family doctor to refer him to a psychiatrist who specializes in autistic spectrum disorders. You will get a definitive diagnosis from which you can work from. From what you say in your comment, I'm not convinced it's Asperger's, there could be an additional problem. Has he attempted a course in social skills training for AS sufferers? Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry18 Jan 2008 04:28 PM Hi "Wolf," the narcissist does have a need to be "perfect" and this may be reflected in an obsession with appearance. That will also extend to you, her child, as you are perceived as an extension of her. However, you can't be too "perfect" as that would be seen as a threat, as you have correctly guessed. And yes, they do exhibit a sense of superficiality, whereby there is much effort expended on little things, while larger issues go unaddressed. It is the latter that causes many communication problems, particularly if you have needs unmet by the narcissistic parent. They are unable to really empathize with other's feelings, yet they become enraged if they think their own feelings are not being met. I think your sense of obligation to your mother extends to being humane - in this case, seeing that she has all she needs in the NH, and that she is well cared for, and whatever communication you feel is best for your mental health. As for caring for her in your home, if there is any threat to your health and your marriage and the happiness of your family, then you are better off caring from a distance as you are. Unless people have close dealings with a narcissist, (and a parent at that), they have little idea of the emotional damage they can cause. It's easy to say "should" but the reality is, it's not always the best thing. Hope this helps, Beth. Dealing with a Narcissistic Family Member - Blog Entry17 Jan 2008 03:15 PM Hi CageyLens, How old is your son? Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry17 Jan 2008 03:10 PM Hi robison6, you really can't satisfactorily explain "why" to a narcissist because they will not accept your explanation because it won't suit them. I'm sure you know this already. So there is really no way of satisfying your mother on this issue. If you go into too much detail, she will likely want to justify herself on all counts. Perhaps it is best to just keep saying you need more space. When she disagrees with that (as she will), you can then use the "we must agree to disagree on this one." As you have severed the relationship, it's easier for you not to get re-embroiled in further arguments. If the problem is more deep-seated than this, you can always contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com Escaping the Trap of the Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry17 Jan 2008 02:34 PM The problem with narcissists is that they do not respond to logic, and exist in a world of their own creation that is not always in touch with reality when it comes to dealing with other people. That is why it is so difficult to communicate with them, let alone have a meaningful relationship with them. Having one as a parent can be extremely difficult. When Antidepressants aren't the best option (3) - Blog Entry17 Jan 2008 02:26 PM If only antidepressants made you forget the problems! They do mask some but not all of the emotional pain, but you're right, they don't resolve anything. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 |
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