Beth McHugh's comments

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother

08 Jun 2011 05:01 PM

Hi Mum, the low self esteem and "OCD" is linked to the fact that you grew up under your mother's regime and were always trying to please and on the alert to do the right thing. The money issue also falls under this category. If you can resolve the issues with your mother you will find that your slf esteem improves and everything with it. In this case, it's all connected. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother

07 Jun 2011 02:36 AM

Hi Mumto be, I guess it depends on the person. If it is an aquantance or someone you know won't understand or needs to understand, then simply "I'd rather not discuss it" is all that is necessary. You don't have to reveal your private life to those who you do not wish to. To others who you would like to understand but both you and they struggle to "get it" you could try explaining it in her own experience and then refer them to a site such as this one where they can read for themselves that this is not just you with a difficult mother, that it is a mental illness and the children suffer as a result. And that sometimes people decide they don't want to see their NPD parent anymore because it is simply too painful. If they still don't accept it, then you may have to tell them that you agree to disagree on this one. Good luck! Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother

06 Jun 2011 07:41 PM

Hi Mum to be, growing up with an NPD mother is an experience that cannot be described unless one has experienced it or spent years studying the phenomena. Thank you for sharing your story and if you need help in cutting off those final strings. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Passive-Aggressive Manipulator (2)

06 Jun 2011 06:40 PM

Hi Marilane, passive aggression is a very effective means of manipulating a person -- if you let them. It is also a child-like and very immature way of relating to people and either reflects that in a person's character or, at times, can be a sign of a more serious mental disorder if other symptoms are present. No matter which you are dealing with you are very welcome to contact me at youronlinecounselor.com as counselong will help you to change the way you are dealing with this perosn which in turnb is keeping the situation at a standstill. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother

02 Jun 2011 05:24 PM

Hi Dropout, please don't call yourself dropout, because you aren't one. You are seeking help, therefore you are looking out for yourself and being an adult , which seems to be more than your mother is doing. It is important to continue your education but there are many ways of doing that. Contact me at youronlinecounselor.com via the enquiries. Because of your age there is help available to you, and I cannot discuss your situation on a public forum. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother

02 Jun 2011 05:17 PM

Hi Broken Kim, I'm so glad you found my articles and now have a handle on what is actually going on in your birth family. This is the start of healing. It's a horrrible situation when the person who you believe "should" love you the best is incapable of love. Nothing can describe the hurt. But your comments about the cards is so true -- many of my clients comment of the laborious task of buying Mother's Day cards in particular. The wording in them is the antithesis of what you are actually getting from a narcissitic mother. Sounds like despite the pain, you have come out in a better position than your sister. Good luck in your recovery process, if you need help in dealing with the guilt just contact me at youronlinecounselor.com

Best wishes, Beth

Forgiving Your Narcissistic Parent

29 May 2011 07:56 PM

Hi Rain, as a therapist, I never even brign up the subject of forgiveness in a sesssion and I have written an article on this very subject which youmayu already have read. Some things are too hard to forgive and putting pressure on someone to forgive is simply revictiming them. If you can forgive, then this is good, but I have many clients who have successfully extracted themselves from the legacy of a narcissitic parent tand not even broached the subject of forgiveness. Acceptance is hard enough and is enough to be be able to step out from the shadow of the narcissist. Best, Beth

Narcissism-Symptoms and Treatment (1)

29 May 2011 04:47 PM

Hi Rain, you can read the full set of articles on my website http://youronlinecounselor.com Thanks for sharing your story. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother

25 May 2011 09:24 PM

Hi Dontworry, I am sorry to hear that you are having panic attacks over the treatment that you are experiencing and you won't believe me when I say that you are so lucky to be seeeing the truth at this early age because I have spent years dealing with clients who are in their 60s trying to step out of the shadow of their narcissistic mothers. So you have an apportunity despite the pain you are in to start to learn how to set firm boundaries with your mother and to interect with her in such a way that she will not target you as she is now. Reaad all the articles i have written on NPD (see link to the right) so that you know as much as you can about the disorder. If you woudl like help in delaing with your mother, you can contact me at youronlinecounselor.com and get a proper diagnosis so that we are sure you are actually dealing with NPD since some personality disorders do appear to be similar but in reality are not. Best wishes, Beth

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother

25 May 2011 09:17 PM

Hi Zooze, congratulations on getting to the stage that you have given up trying to change your family. This is something that can take people years to get over. Dealing with the resultant sadness and anger is yet another stage to get through and as you have come this far, you can do that too. There will always be a scar, but you need to close the open wound. If you would like help in doing so you can contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com Best wishes, Beth