Beth McHugh's comments

Homosexuality: Inborn or Learned Behavior? (1)

11 Jun 2008 04:14 PM

Hi Samual, I look forward to reading the reference you have read. My understanding is that there is no link between Klinefelter's syndrome (or XXY males with an extra X chromosome) and homosexuality.

Homosexuality: Inborn or Learned Behavior? (1)

10 Jun 2008 11:09 PM

This is just one of several scientific studies which have found differences in brain structure between heterosexuals and homosexuals.

The Parental Blame Game in Mental Illness

05 Jun 2008 06:58 PM

Hi PDeverit, this article is about one parent blaming the other when genetically-linked mental conditions such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and Asperger's to name a few, are diagnosed within the family. There is no "false memory" factor in this article whatsoever.

Coping with an adult with Asperger's (4)

05 Jun 2008 06:51 PM

Hi Springermom, First of all you must be certain that your brother definitely has Asperger's before breaking the news to him. You also have to consider whether it would be beneficial for him to know. If he seems happy enough, it probably means more to you to know what is really going on than it does to him. On the other hand, if he seems depressed about being different, he may benefit from being told. However, there are other disorders that mimic Asperger's in part, so it is important to be sure. If you would like assistance in regard to this issue you can contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com

Narcissism-Symptoms and Treatment (1)

05 Jun 2008 06:02 PM

Hi Second Daughter, it is extremely difficult to be the child of a narcissist parent, especially a narcissistic mother, and not come out with the scars to show for it. It is wonderful that you have at least realized what you are dealing with, because that will make the process of dealing with your mother easier. If you have read all my articles on this disorder you will realize that the narcissist becomes worse with age, as the image they make of the world and there place in it becomes harder to maintain. As your daughter has commented, often adult children of narcissists are still trying desperately to please and this is one area that can be worked on, the other is disentangling yourself from needing and wanting your mother's approval. Learning to love yourself and value yourself is also an important part of therapy as your mother won't have contributed to that! There is light at the end of the tunnel and many adult children of narcissists can and do lead happy lives. If you feel I can be of assistance to you, please contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com

"I'm a Bad Mother!"

02 Jun 2008 09:34 PM

Hi cstaci, you may not be able to get your parents to ever tell you that you are a great mom. They may not operate by giving praise where praise is due. Did they praise you when you did well in school, or danced well, or cooked well, or have they been like this as long as you can remember? What I am trying to establish is whether it's just about your parenting, or it's everything you do. You need to be able to set boundaries for your parents as you don't need your confidence in your parenting ability eroded. We all question our ability in that area at times and we certainly don't need hecklers from the back stalls! I would encourage you pick a particular practice they comment on, and tell them that if they continue to belittle your attempts, then you will have to change the subject and tell them why you are changing the subject. If they continue to hassle you, gently but firmly ask them to go home for that day. This needs to be repeated and reinforced continually, so that they get the message that you will not put up with this particular behavior of theirs. If you find you need help in asserting yourself firmly and confidently, you are welcome to contact me at http://youronlinecounselor

Good luck, Beth

When Your Child's Grandparent is a Narcissist

31 May 2008 12:11 AM

Hi jskinner, it's not necessarily a bad thing that you are questioning your ability as a parent. Sure, you don't have a good template to work with as a result of having a narcissistic mother, but it's the parents who don't question their parenting style that I really worry about! Many women I counsel who have had NPD mothers experience the same feelings as you. It's only natural to do so, but I am sure that you, like them, strive to give their children the love and attention they never had as children. In fact, I commonly find that in some cases the pendulum swings too far in the opposite direction, and the adult child strives too hard to "love" their children. This can result in problems also, but these are easier to deal with than the devastation of having a NPD parent. I'm sure if you are aware of your behaviors then you are in a good position to shape both your own and your children's lives. Good luck, contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com if you need any further assistance.

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Your Children (2)

30 May 2008 03:00 AM

Thanks, Dale!

Coping with an adult with Asperger's (4)

29 May 2008 11:00 PM

Hi Freachi, this is a very difficult situation for you. Your husband's reluctance to talk about your difficulties, much less the problems he contributes to the relationship must be very frustrating. The first step would be to check out the presence or otherwise of Asperger's, or possibly other disorders. As this is a public forum you might like to contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com where we could look at coping techniques if Asperger's was found to be present. Best wishes, Beth

The Aging Narcissistic Parent (1)

29 May 2008 04:26 PM

Hi Cocolabelle, dealing with a narcissistic mother is one of life's great challenges, since it shapes you from birth. Children of narcissists can have no idea of what is really wrong with their parent and so come away with a sense of not being good enough. But it also involves so more than that. There is an incredible need to please, sometimes this need for love dominates the child's life right through to adulthood. Have you read all the articles I have written on NPD? You will find them by clicking on Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the category list on the right side of this page. These articles will give you further information on how narcissists function. If you think you would benefit from counseling in order to re-establish your sense of self apart from your mother, you can contact me at http://youronlinecounselor.com