It’s hard to put a finger down on what makes a marriage go bad. It can be bad attitudes, it can be accenting the negative, and it can even be an inability to forgive. But more often than not, it’s an inability to find anything positive in your relationship that demonstrates how damaged a marriage has become. Before that time, however there are attitudes and behavior that we can bring into our marriages and if we don’t correct them we may be limiting our chances on finding that happily ever after.
Here are 10 of the most common bad attitudes and behaviors that can damage a marriage.
- Mistaking talking at your spouse instead of talking with your spouse; it’s important to recognize that just talking at some one can be insulting and put them on the defensive, if your spouse is very tense, chances are you have been talking at them and not talking to them
- Listen to your spouse, don’t just zone them out with the pretense of listening, they’ll know and if you don’t remember what they are saying to you, then you are communicating to them that their words aren’t important
- Forgetting the simple things like thank you and please too often, it’s important to say please and to say thank you because it demonstrates how thoughtful and kind you are instead of insensitive and demanding
- It’s a mistake to not say I’m sorry when you mess up, in fact, if you make a mistake it just makes you human – it’s better to say I’m sorry and acknowledge their hurt feelings than to get defensive and try to justify your actions
- On the other hand, if all you ever do is apologize for the same set of mistake and behaviors over and over again, you’re not getting the lesson and you’re demonstrating that you have no remorse for your actions or you wouldn’t keep repeating them
- Being late all the time is not only annoying, it’s arrogant. If you don’t think about your spouse and how your lateness affects them or because you are late all the time, you make them feel less than they are – it’s likely not the message you want to send
- No one wants to be the victim and no one should play the victim role, yes there are times when we screw up and make mistakes, but to play the victim card every time will deplete any remorse or sympathy your partner may feel
- Presuming that you know every detail of your spouse’s thoughts, feelings and motivations can lead you down the road of jumping to conclusions and this is not a positive place for you to be
- Talking badly about your spouse to others not only is bad for your spouse, it’s bad for you. We all need to vent, we all need to confide in someone sometimes, but if all you’re doing is talking about their negative attributes or the bad things they do – consider the picture you are painting and how your spouse might feel about that
- Doing something thoughtful once is great, but if you only ever do it once, then you will likely slip into apathy – it’s like trying to break any bad habit, once is great but you need to make positive behavior and positive actions a regular habit
If you can identify your mistakes and correct them, you’re showing a commitment to your marriage and you’re increasing your chances of happily ever after. And wouldn’t that be a great thing?