Yes, you read that blog title right. I described to you earlier that My Face Is Killing Me and why. Now I feel compelled to share with you the 10 things that pulling my face have taught me.
10. First and foremost, learn to tell the story of what happened with a straight face. Grinning hurts. Laughing hurts. Snorting, grinning and laughing in quick succession can leave you gasping for breath because your face cramps and that just makes it all the funnier (if you appreciate black humor).
9. Don’t tell guys that you have a pulled muscle in your face. They immediately assume the cause has something to do with another male and the raunchy humor begins.
8. Don’t tell your assistant editor you were taking a break over the weekend because of the pain and the crazy soreness of your jaw or she’ll send you links like this.
7. Take it easy; tell people you are smiling on the inside. In this case, laughter is NOT the best medicine.
6. Follow the medicine instructions very carefully – don’t mix up the muscle relaxers with the antibiotics or the painkillers.
5. If you don’t like taking all the medication, don’t wait until it all wears off so you can see how badly your face cramps up again.
4. Don’t study the effect in a mirror – all you get is some odd puffiness until you try to grin and then your eye starts to twitch when the pain starts to pulse.
3. Don’t think the medication is an excuse to overdo it and watch a funny movie – you will definitely feel it later.
2. There are actually stretching exercises you can do for your face that improve the elasticity and strength of the muscles there. Seriously.
1. If you don’t have to tell someone you did it – don’t. It’s so much easier to just say my wisdom teeth hurt, my jaw is sore, and I got hit with a baseball bat or some other story.
Oh and you remember what your Mom always told you about making a face like that? She said to be careful, or your face would freeze like that? Guess what? She wasn’t kidding.