The statistics continue to hold steady, one out of every two marriages fail. That’s a whopping half of all nuptials end eventually with a visit to a divorce attorney.
With divorce being so easy to come by, it’s no wonder that couples who are having difficulty throw in the towel so soon. Marriage takes commitment and trust, communication and faith. Here are five reasons why most couples never see their tenth wedding anniversary:
5) Unrealistic Expectations; this rates number five because it is so easy to fix. When two people are in love, the saying “Love is blind” is usually true. The answer is clear communication before you get engaged as to what each of you expects out of the institution of marriage. For instance, if the two of you are realistically going to need to work in order to provide for the household, it is equally unrealistic for her to expect to be provided for while she stays home to run the house as it is for him to insist that no wife of his is going to work. It is also unrealistic to think that marrying someone will change them.
4) Fear of Intimacy; this problem is also along the lines that believing if you marry someone it will change them, or that if you only love them “enough” things will work out. If either of you have fear of intimacy issues, work them out in therapy or couples counseling before you get engaged. This is one of the reasons that people of religious faith often recommend pre-marriage counseling for young couples.
3) Marrying too soon; this is one of the top three of why marriages fail for a reason. Often, usually because people don’t want to live out their lives lonely and panic. Please, get to know your intended as well as possible before popping the question. While there are instances and stories of young lovers marrying soon after meeting and those marriages lasting a lifetime, the truth is that most do not.
2) Lack of communication; this could easily be number one, as it is the most important aspect of your marriage. Many times marriages tend to settle down after the first two to three years, and the long walks and talks give way to yelling reminders to each other as you leave for work. “Don’t forget to pick up the kids!” replaces ” how can we spend some time together.” And don’t forget the villain, silence. Just because you know what she’s going to say doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t talk about it anyway.
1) Lack of trust; the number one reason that couples get divorced. The answer to this dilemma is humor and validation. Do something every day for your spouse to show them that they are the only one for you. Deescalate the situation with humor, but not sarcasm. Women tend to begin to feel that they aren’t attractive to their husbands after the first child is born; men tend to feel they aren’t as attractive as they get older.
If you keep vigilant for these warning signs, you need never worry that your marriage will end up as a negative statistic.