In a previous blog I provided tips for the traveler stuck in the awkward position of sitting next to a person who smells anything but fresh as a daisy. This blog addresses another delicate situation all travelers run into from time to time—dealing with an overly chatty seatmate.
Many (if not all) frequent fliers tend to look at flights as a way to get from point A to point B, and NOT as a social experiment. Look around at passengers as they board a plane and you’ll see many armed with iPods, laptops, books, and magazines. These people clearly have one goal—settle into a seat and prepare for the long trip ahead. Some intense fliers looking to preserve the blessed silence around their seats go as far as avoiding all eye contact with their neighbors.
So what are the hard and fast rules regarding airborne verbal exchanges? Is there an etiquette chapter in flight manuals to help quiet passengers deal with chatty seatmates? I’ve been flying for nearly 30 years and have yet to see anything in writing so I’ve decided to share some of my own tips on how to avoid the launch of an unwanted verbal soliloquy from the next seat. And, I’m not talking about exchanging pleasantries about a misplaced seat belt buckle; rather I am referring to those hour(s) long “conversations” that start when the cabin doors close and don’t end until they open again.
1. Arm Yourself With Accessories. Forget about the books and magazines, determined conversationalists won’t let the presence of an open book stop him or her from trying to engross you in a discussion. If you are absolutely against speaking to your seatmate you need to arm yourself with a good set of neon earplugs, an iPod cranked to the max or any other type of large headset.
2. Newspaper Barrier. The effectiveness of this one is iffy. Sometimes even the most overt hints such as enveloping your body in a shield of newspaper may not be enough to ward off a determined conversationalist, but it’s worth a shot.
3. Honesty Is The Best Policy. Mom always said to tell the truth… and truthfully, it is not a breach of good manners to interrupt an unwanted monologue after several minutes and simply state: “I don’t mean to offend you, but I have a splitting headache and I’d rather stay quiet during the flight.”
4. Feign Fatigue. I have found fleeing to a restroom to avoid a verbal onslaught from a chatty seatmate works marginally at best. However, if the Heavens shine upon you and Chatty Cathy gets up for a restroom break, seize the opportunity by placing a blanket over your head and feigning sleep. Posting a sign on your blanket that reads: “Please do not disturb,” may further help get your message across.
5. Travel With A Child. This always works for me. Most airline passengers want to avoid children at all costs. Fine with me—-their empty seats mean more room for me and my weary little traveler. And, for the ones who dare stick it out and remain seated next to us… well, their attempts at conversation typically come to an abrupt end when my 2-year-old cuts them off with a simple, yet stern request: “No talk to me!”
What methods work best for you?
Related Articles:
How to Handle Flying with Smelly Seatmates
Traveling With Children-Learn From My Mistakes
The Ugly Truth About Airplane Water