Divorce can take a real toll on your self-esteem, especially if you weren’t the one who initiated it. When you have given your all to someone only to be told they no longer want to be with you, it cuts deep. Rejection is something we all experience at one time or another in our lives. After going through something as traumatizing as a divorce, it can be hard to let yourself open up to someone again. Each time you let someone in, you run that risk of getting hurt again, and now it effects not only you, but your children.
We all struggle with this from time to time. A divorce can make you feel self-conscious. For a long time I honestly believed that nobody would want me now. If the father of my child didn’t want to be with me, how could anyone else? Just writing that reminds me of that sting of rejection that I carried for so long. I can’t imagine carrying that weight around with me now, but I did for a long time.
When I began dating again, I was shocked that these men actually were interested in me. In my mind, there must be something wrong with them! As time went on, it was actually a little flattering. Maybe somebody really could love me again, but that would mean opening myself back up and I wasn’t sure I was ready to do that just yet. It took really building my self-esteem. I took waking up in the morning and telling myself all of the things that everyone else could see, but that I had been blind to. I had to convince myself that I had a lot to offer, that I was beautiful, that I was a good person who so many people admired. I had to do things that made me feel good about myself again.
I learned that it didn’t matter if these men wanted to be with me or not, because I knew deep down that I was a good person and my worth was not dependent on what they thought of me. It has taken an incredible amount of soul searching on my part, but I finally know who I am, I am comfortable with me, and I won’t change for anyone.