I am having a flashback to a conversation I had on my daughter’s last day of middle school. I was talking to her 2nd grade teacher and we were laughing about moments he had experienced with her.
He was her very first teacher because I had homeschooled her through 1st grade. She was extremely shy and quiet, hardly ever talked. She has been that way through most of her time at that school. We were both reflecting on how fast time had flown by with her now entering high school.
Then he remarked how his daughter (who is now grown) was so much like my daughter and to his surprise, her first year in high school she got a boyfriend. I laughed and said that I couldn’t even picture that.
But now I’m not laughing. I’m not crying either, so I guess that’s a good thing.
In fact, I’m actually trying not to give myself a pat on the back. It’s hard not to when you experience a moment in time where you feel like you have done something right as a parent. There are so many things we recognize as doing wrong, so when you get an opportunity to witness something right…well, you can’t help but feel pretty good.
I have expressed in many of my blogs how I try to make my children feel comfortable about coming to me for anything. I so desperately want what I didn’t have with my own mother…a security and trust in our relationship.
When large moments in time pass and your children don’t seem able to embrace that openness you desire, it can become discouraging. But I had a moment this week where it finally came to fruition.
Long story short…there is this boy. I probably don’t even need to say more.
He actually came into the picture about a year ago. I still remember the circumstances surrounding the first time I heard her talking about him. Since then they have grown in their friendship and now apparently their interest has gone beyond that. I knew something was changing but it was confirmed to me last week when she showed me a hat he bought her.
Let’s just say we had a night where we talked and talked. She knew that I wouldn’t be for the “boyfriend/girlfriend” thing and she apparently told her friend (who indicated no one would know) that she couldn’t go behind her parents’ back because she didn’t want to lose our trust. Mark that as a notch on the championship parenting belt.
Then she went on to ask permission to make it “official,” to be able to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Yep, I think that qualifies for another notch on the belt.
All I can tell you is that my daughter has been handling this with more maturity than I see in some adults. But I won’t try and take all the credit…this is really the person she is and I am so proud.
But it has also shown me to not give up. Just when you think your children aren’t getting it, you learn that they are. Keep those communication lines open. Be approachable. Be trustworthy. I’m learning that it really does pay off.
Related Articles:
Listen, Don’t Judge
http://parenting.families.com/blog/listen-dont-judge
Photo by simononly in Flickr