For most of my life, I didn’t think I would be a parent. I lived the single life to the best of my ability during my twenties. I was 28 years old when I found out that I was pregnant. I wasn’t married to my son’s father and knew that we would not build a life together.
I made the decision to become a single mother. I decided that from the moment my son was born, I would base all of my decisions on what was best for my child. I have done that for the past few years. Everything in my life has been based on what is best for my son.
Recently, I have started to second guess my decisions. I have struggled financially since making the decision to stay at home with my son. I do what I can to work from home. The money fluctuates, but it is never enough to make ends meet.
The decisions that I have made over the past few years are starting to weigh heavily on my mind. I have made decisions that were hard to make and have consequences. I chose to work from home and sacrifice having a decent income.
Another choice that I made was to live with my family in order to work from home and keep my son out of preschool. I didn’t want him to go to daycare or preschool because the children who attend them are always sick. I didn’t want my son to always be sick the way some of my friend’s children have.
Daycare children learn a lot while they are with the care providers. While the care providers may provide a loving atmosphere and teach the children a lot of different things, it may not be what I want my son to learn.
The things that children learn in the first few years of their life help mold their personalities. What they do in daycare and preschool will create habits that will remain with them for years.
It isn’t that I don’t want my son to learn and experience these things. I just want to be more involved in these activities than I could be if he were in daycare or preschool.
I have chosen to do group activities with other moms and toddlers outside of preschool. My son still gets the social interaction with other kids. He does it in a “field trip” atmosphere. We go to toddler classes and activities that are held in our community.
I have recently started to question myself on all of these decisions. I know I haven’t taken the easy road. It would be a lot easier to go to work outside of my home every day. It would be much less stressful for me to have an apartment, career and a child in daycare. I would have money, freedom and time to myself.
However, what I would have missed out on having those things is something that I could never get back. I am only having one child. I don’t get another chance at parenting. I had a very high risk pregnancy and I am a single mom. I can’t have another baby. I didn’t want to miss out on all of my child’s first activities.
I don’t feel that I made the wrong decisions, though I am starting to question if I need to rethink some of them. I wonder if there is a compromise that I can make in order to make life a little less stressful. I want the best for my son. That is always my first priority.
The struggle that single mothers must make is when to take time for themselves and what to sacrifice in order to provide the best life for their children and themselves. I have struggled with these decisions. All I can say is that I have always chosen whatever I believed was in the best interest of my son.