Yesterday I gave you a little background about myself and how I view love, relationships, and marriage. Today I thought I’d expand on that a little bit more.
I’m still trying to figure out who I am. Just when I think I’ve got it nailed, some new dimension –usually one that’s in contrast to some other aspect of myself—pops up. This definitely keeps things interesting in my relationship with Wayne!
Old-Fashioned…
In many ways I’m old-fashioned. I don’t see anything wrong with the husband being the breadwinner or the wife staying home to tend the hearth and kids.
I did not always believe this, though. I was raised by a mom who scoffed at all things domestic. It was ingrained in my head from a very early age that I was meant to go to college, get a degree, and graduate in a field –-preferably a lucrative one—- where I could support myself sans a husband.
So what did I do? Went to college, thought I’d like to be a marketing major, but soon realized I couldn’t pass Accounting 101 to save my soul. (Which you needed for the Business College’s curriculum.) After two failed attempts, I changed my major to Communications. (Which didn’t require accounting as it was part of the College of Social Sciences.)
Yet, at the same time I was with Wayne. I did end up graduating and going out into the working world, trying several jobs, but never being satisfied. Nothing felt quite right. (My favorite job was working in a law firm though.)
Then we moved, I ended up staying home, and suddenly everything felt right. I found I not only loved, but thrived, on dividing my time between my writing and taking care of my husband and home. (Which I believe should be among the wife’s priorities if she stays home. Something even 10 years ago I would have been appalled to hear myself admit.)
…Yet Unconventional
Wayne and I don’t have kids. (At least not human ones. I consider my cats, Mr. Meow and Tabby, and my dog, Murphy, my children, though.) That’s why many people find it odd that I’m a stay-at-home wife.
But, as I mentioned earlier, not only do I take care of Wayne, I write. He makes it possible for me to do this. My dream is that one day I’ll hit it big, top the bestsellers list, land a lucrative publishing deal, and Wayne can stay home and be my personal assistant while he tends to whatever dreams he’d like to fulfill. (When I dream, I dream big!)
I’m also a partial feminist in my own weird way. Not in the sense of I want to open my own doors for myself and all that. Au contraire. I love chivalry! I never want to see it die.
Men and women bring different strengths to the table, be it one at a job or within a marriage. Women have been taught to respect, sometimes even revere a man’s views and opinions, yet the courtesy isn’t always reciprocated. I don’t believe men and women are the same at all. I don’t believe that whatever a man can do I can do better. Some things I just flat out can’t. But that doesn’t make me any less equal, because there are some things I can do that a man just flat out can’t. It doesn’t make him any less of a man.
And as far as women staying home vs. working…I used to think if I did have kids there is no way I’d stay home. I was going to be a working woman and do the whole bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan routine.
You know what? That wouldn’t work for me. And feminists who preach that our foresisters marched, rallied, demonstrated, and otherwise demanded we have this right and that by giving it up to stay home with kids is a slap in their face irritate me. I’m not going to mince words over that. It is a very personal choice to decide whether you’re going to stay home or continue working. I don’t think anyone should ever be so presumptuous to say they know what’s best for someone else.
So there you have it. I’ve removed yet another layer of my onion. Traditional, yet not.
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