Like many newly married couples, my husband and I always enjoyed talking about our future children. We loved to hold other people’s newborn babies and we could not wait to have one of our own. We wanted the experience of raising a tiny baby from the first moment of their lives and then all of the way through toddlerhood, elementary school, high school and beyond.
However, as time went on we began to realize that for us having a pregnancy and raising an infant was much less important to us than experiencing the joys of parenting. Because of that, we decided to adopt. We felt a pull towards international adoption, even though we knew that would mean that we would not bring home an infant.
Now, we are in the process of adopting two children. Our son will be ten or eleven months old by the time we finally hold him in our arms and our daughter will be seven and a half years old.
As I spend time with my friends who have biological children or I talk to those who have adopted domestically in order to have their child from birth, I sometimes wonder, am I missing out? Am I missing some fundamental part of parenting by meeting my children later in life?
I will admit that there are times that I do feel that way. When I see a tiny newborn baby and have the chance to hold that baby close, I do feel sad that I didn’t get to know my kids when they were infants. I have so many questions about what they were like and even what they looked like. It is hard to know that I have missed that part of their lives.
Yet, those feelings quickly fade when I think about my children. I don’t know what they were like as tiny babies, but I do know what they are like now. Infancy is really a very short part of life. In the whole scheme of things, I’m not missing much. I still get to be a huge part of my children’s life and I get the privilege of watching them grow and pursue their dreams. They are my children – amazing gifts from God. I wouldn’t trade them for the world, even if I did have to miss the first part of their lives. So, am I missing out? No, I don’t think so. Parenting is about all of the stages of childhood, not just those first few months of infancy. In the long run, I will experience so many wonderful things and so many wonderful stages of my children’s life. I’m not missing a thing.
Related Blog:
No Infant Adoption for Us