Question: I always hear about how you’re supposed to breastfeed on demand but I have a problem with this. First of all, I feel like the baby needs to work on my schedule, not me being a slave to the baby. Second of all, I don’t think it’s healthy for babies to “snack” like that. Doesn’t that just set them up for bad eating habits later? Thirdly, I think it spoils a baby to respond every single time they cry. And finally, if my baby is on a schedule won’t he sleep through the night better?
In responding, I have to wonder if you’ve ever read the book Baby Wise or it’s Christian equivalent Preparation for Parenting. Several of the points that you mention are in these books. Many parents are tempted by promises of infants who sleep through the night. Many Christian parents read the books thinking that they are working their way towards a better behaved child. I don’t want to launch into a book review–that’s not my purpose here. But I do want to say that the breastfeeding advice contained in these books is just plain wrong. Would you go to see an oncologist for a pregnancy? Would you take your infant to a cardiologist instead of a pediatrician? Of course not! Neither should you take advice about breastfeeding from a pastor. An excellent Christian alternative, is the Christian Parenting and Child Care by Dr. Sears.
I Don’t Want to be a Slave to the Baby
When we become parents, our lives change. There’s no getting around it. Whether you like it or not, you are on baby call once your baby is born. Not responding doesn’t teach him who is boss, it teaches him that those on whom he depends for care won’t respond when he cries.
If you ask my children who is in charge in our home they will decidedly say, “Daddy unless he’s not home. Then mommy is in charge.” They assume that we are the ultimate authority and rightly so. However, it is impossible to go about the day, plan errands, even plan vacation without considering their needs. We are a family and that’s just how it operates.
My suggestion is to change your thinking. By responding to a baby’s needs, you are not a slave. You are teaching him that families care for their most dependent members.
Snacking at the Breast
Let me address the second part of this statement first. It is important to teach little kids healthy eating habits. I am personally of the persuasion that any time my kids come to me hungry they are offered a snack. Snacking is not unhealthy. What is unhealthy is snacking on potato chips, cookies, and other junk. When one of my older children comes for a snack they can have celery with peanut butter, a piece of fruit, baked oatmeal or something similar–even if it’s right before dinner. If they “spoil” their dinner on celery sticks I’m certainly not going to complain.
Also it’s important to know that research does not show a correlation between breastfeeding and obesity. There is a correlation between formula feeding and obesity. However, I suspect that the real issue is not the breast or the bottle, or even scheduling vs. demand feeding but rather parents who both model unhealthy eating habits and allow their children to eat too much junk. In any case, you do not have to worry that “snacking” at the breast is going to ruin good eating habits.
Why Babies “Snack”
Another important issue to address is why babies snack. Breastfeeding not only provides their nutritive needs for the first year but it also provides for their need to suck. Babies instinctively need to suck. All babies are different, but I can almost assure you that if your baby is not allowed to suck at the breast, that need will be replaced with a bottle, pacifier, or thumb. What you choose to do regarding non-nutritive sucking is up to you, but all sucking at the breast has the result of building up your supply as well as comforting baby. In other words, it’s not really a bad thing.
The other reason babies ‘snack’ non-stop sometimes is that they are helping you make more milk to sustain their growth spurts. Most babies will triple their birth weight in the first year. That requires a lot of food. Think about how much you’d have to eat to go from 100 pounds to 300 pounds in a year! It is reasonable to assume that your milk supply must increase to meet the demand. The best and most effective way to increase your milk supply is by breastfeeding your baby.
Because of the length of this question, I will address the other two parts of this question in a second blog! Look soon for my answer on spoiling babies by demand feeding and helping them sleep through the night.
Related Articles:
Practices that Promote Breastfeeding
Should I Wake My Baby to Breastfeed?