Question: I always hear about you’re supposed to breastfeed on demand but I have a problem with this. First of all, I feel like the baby needs to work on my schedule, not me being a slave to the baby. Second of all, I don’t think it’s healthy for babies to “snack” like that. Doesn’t that just set them up for bad eating habits later? Thirdly, I think it spoils a baby to respond every single time they cry. And finally, if my baby is on a schedule won’t he sleep through the night better?
Yesterday I addressed the first two questions and today I will address the latter two questions: Can you spoil a baby and why you physically should not feed on a schedule.
Spoiling Babies
It is important to note here that we are talking about young infants as opposed to older infants. In other words, letting your 18 month old baby cry because he wants to hit his sister over the head with the toy you’ve taken away is quite different from letting an infant cry because you’ve determined that he isn’t hungry because it‘s not time to feed him yet.
You should never think of responding to your infant’s cries as spoiling. Spoiling is rewarding bad behavior. Crying in an infant is not bad behavior but is his only means of communication to let you know something isn’t quite right. Responding right away communicates to your infant, in a way that he understands, that you are available and willing to take care of his needs. You will also find that if you practice responding to your child’s cries and cues, he will not cry as much and instead find other ways to communicate. Crying and screaming is stressful and if in infant doesn’t have to do it to communicate–they won’t.
Scheduling and Sleeping Through the Night
First of all, sleeping through the night, as defined by the AAP is 5 hours. While many infants do sleep through the night longer than that and at an earlier age than 12 months, it’s not abnormal not to.
If we’re talking about newborn infants. . .no amount of standing on your head, doing back flips, or anything else will make your infant sleep through the night if he is not going to do so. It simply won’t. Sleeping through the night, like many other traits you’ll notice in your newborn, is often a function of personality–not something you’ve done as a parent. I do however, highly recommend a bedtime routine from as soon as you get home from the hospital. It will help set the tone for when bedtime is and what is to be expected.
The Short Answer: Why You MUST Feed on Demand
Your breasts are designed to make milk in response to your baby. After a few weeks you produce more or less exactly what your baby needs. But babies needs change. Some studies indicate that babies experience an increase in hormones that make them hungrier right before a growth spurt. So that non-stop sucking is often to prepare you to make more of exactly what your baby needs. If you insist on nursing every three hours simply because you are following a book, it is likely that your supply will dwindle. Rather than working with the flow of things, you’re working against your body when you feed according to a clock. Most women (not all–some women naturally produce a lot more milk) will find their milk supply starts to dwindle around 4 months.
Babies, Self-Scheduling and Helping Things Along
You will find, that your infant will develop a schedule on his own. It’s not long before you will find that your child naps at a regular time, eats at the same times every day and even needs his diaper changed about the same time every day. If you work with this schedule and not against it, you can often painlessly modify your baby’s schedule to fit your own needs. For example, if junior is nursed to sleep at around 8pm and you want him to go to bed at 7:30, start changing things by 10 minutes every day.
Hopefully this helps answer and address some concerns regarding feeding on demand. If you are breastfeeding, and want to exclusively breastfeed for at least 6 months (according to AAP recommendations) and continue to breastfeed for at least 1 year or longer, breastfeeding according to your baby’s cue is the only way to go.
Related Articles:
Help! I Don’t Have Enough Milk!
Feeding on Demand, Twins and Your Sanity
Practices that Promote Breastfeeding
Get Breastfeeding Off to a Good Start
Breastfeeding Full Term Multiples