Being kind to yourself is not the same as being self-indulgent. Being accepting of yourself and your flaws is not the same as being lazy and unwilling to make healthy changes.
Self kindness is:
- Recognizing things you do that are harmful to yourself and stopping them.
- Defending yourself against negative thoughts, words, and actions from within.
- Defending yourself against negative thoughts, words, and actions from others.
- Being honest about your flaws and outstanding qualities.
- Asking for help when you need it.
- Resting when you need it.
- Believing in yourself.
- Choosing to make changes in your life.
Self kindness is not:
- Continuing harmful behaviors after you recognize them.
- Hating yourself.
- Living in a fantasy world and ignoring the reality of your bad habits.
- Refusing help.
- Breaking promises you make to yourself.
- Accepting negative thoughts, words, and actions from within.
- Accepting negative thoughts, words, and actions from others.
- Forcing change on yourself, or having change forced on you.
See the difference? Being kind to yourself isn’t being lazy or self-indulgent. Being kind to yourself means loving yourself and doing things that are good for you. Being kind to yourself means recognizing where you need help and standing up for your right to be treated kindly.
For example: I’m trying to get back on the not-biting-my-nails wagon. All my life, I’ve struggled with this, and the more my family and friends try to “encourage” me to stop, the more I bite my nails. It’s only when I finally chose to do it for myself that I made any progress. I have the same problem if someone comments about my weight. I know I need to lose weight, but I struggle against the feeling that the change is being forced on me.
It isn’t easy to be kind to yourself. Sometimes, it is far easier to be negative than to be positive.