After the divorce, you will be faced with many new challenges and experiences. Some will be difficult while others will be fun and exciting. One of the most difficult decisions has to do with dating, especially when you have children. Obviously, you want to protect your kids while still being able to rebuild a life of your own. For me, I took over six years as a single parent before I re-entered the dating scene. Now, while not everyone could do what I did, I do recommend you take some time to become grounded again.
I actually found these years as great for healing, a time to be a parent to two kids that needed a parent at a difficult time in their lives. Today, my kids are healthy and happy. They have an excellent relationship with their father, as do I, and I’ve been dating for about two years. I find that as a single parent, I’m much more selective about the people I date, realizing that in addition to someone being in my life, they are also going to be a part of my children’s life. I also take time to ask my children their opinion about someone I do date, which often brings about interesting results.
If you are dating the right type of person, he or she is also going to be concerned about the way in which your and his children respond. I recommend that you not thrust the kids into a new life. Instead, allow them time to make their own decisions. You can still demand that they show respect but rather than introduce two families from the first date, you might consider taking time to get to know the person first. That way, if the dating does not work out, then the kids have not built any emotions toward that person.
One of the challenging aspects of dating as a single parent is the planning. If the children are small, the challenge can be greater than if the children are older. However, in both cases, careful planning is crucial to the success of the date. You should have several sitters lined up, just in case one is not available. Then of course, you would always provide the sitter and the children with the place you are going, the phone number, and your cell phone number. Dating as a single person is a unique world but with thought and consideration, it can be a positive experience.