But it’s not always easy. By nature, single people and married people lead different lifestyles.
Case in Point
The other day I wrote about my single fantasy and how I’m sort of living it at present due to the fact Wayne took a new job out of state and we’re currently separated until the house sells and I can rejoin him.
Well, in some respects Wayne’s living his own single fantasy. He’s bachin’ it up eating out every night, doing whatever he wants after work, and hanging out with friends as much as possible.
We have a lot of friends, both married and single, back in Jax. Curiously, he’s decided to hang out with one friend in particular, a single guy named Freddie.
When we lived in Jacksonville Wayne and I saw Freddie just about every weekend. We know him from the beach, where we all played volleyball together. Wayne and Freddie get along great because they’re both athletic, have similar senses of humor, and they love talking stocks, investments, and saving strategies.
But Freddie is single. He dates. A lot. Meeting girls consumes a great deal of his time. As it should. He’s a good looking guy who enjoys meeting good looking women. I don’t begrudge him that.
Proceed with Caution
When I pointed out my observation that I thought it was odd he preferred hanging out with Freddie instead of Cherri and Tony or Michael and Karen, he guffawed.
“There you go again being jealous.”
Yes, I can be. But in this case I’m not. And I didn’t want to make a big stink of it, because I like Freddie. He’s a great guy and I have no bones to pick with him. He’s not the kind of friend who would try to lead Wayne astray.
I just found it interesting. It seems Wayne’s living vicariously through Freddie to an extent. (Even if he won’t admit it.) There’s noting wrong with that. In fact, it’s strengthened his appreciation for what we have. He sees the dating trials and trauma Freddie endures and realizes how nice it is that he doesn’t have to deal with those headaches.
What it Boils Down To
The kind of friend you’re dealing with. As I mentioned above, Freddie’s a good guy. He has no interest in trying to sabotage our marriage.
However, sometimes married people encounter single friends who do. Maybe because they’re jealous, or they resent your good fortune, or that you don’t spend as much time with them anymore (if you were friends pre-marriage). Maybe they just don’t like seeing other people happy. Who knows?
But there are others who aren’t like that at all.
The point is, yes, it is possible to make friends with single people even after you’re married. It’s also possible to keep single friends once you get married. Their marital status shouldn’t determine the value of their friendship, their actions and character should.