Two years can seem like a very long time, or a very short time. I moved in with my grandmother in March 2004 and have since become one of her primary caretakers.
Lately, my grandmother’s memory problems seem to have accelerated. Within the last few months, it seems, she’s gone from mostly capable to much closer to incapable. She’s forgotten where the silverware is (it’s been in the same drawer for as long as I can remember, which is close to thirty years). She’s forgotten where the dishes are kept. She brings the mail in, then turns around and checks the mailbox again. The little things that make up the daily routine seem to be slipping away.
Some things are more of a problem than others. She has gotten more and more paranoid about hiding her purse in strange places. It’s been on the front porch… in the pantry underneath the napkins… in the linen closet… and other spots around the house. Every time we need to leave the house, we first have to play Find the Purse. And while I’m searching, she accuses everyone else of having it — my mother, my aunt and uncle, a cousin who takes her food shopping, anyone she can think of. Once I find it, she usually bursts into tears immediately; she truly believes that someone else has taken her purse.
She remembers to take her medicine less than half the time — she has pills to take four times a day and we’re lucky if she remembers to take them twice a day. She usually remembers the breakfast ones, and that’s about it. My mother and I don’t see eye to eye on this issue; mom thinks that if my grandmother doesn’t want to take her pills, we shouldn’t force her. I’m still in “health police” mode and feel like I should be nudging her all the time.
It’s been months since she checked her blood sugar, and she’s flat out refused to see any new doctors, or do anything about any new health problems that come up. The diabetes specialist asked her to see a kidney specialist; she won’t. Her general practitioner wants her to get an MRI to check for nerve damage in her neck that may be causing headaches and vision problems; she won’t do that either.
I think we are quickly coming to a point where she will need full-time care… and I don’t know what will happen then.
If you are in a caretaker situation, check this out: Taking Care of the Caretaker.