I know that not every single parent experiences single parenthood in the same way that I do and that it also depends on where a person is on the adjustment scale. For those who are newly divorced, or just getting started with single parenthood it can seem scary, daunting, chaotic and overwhelming. Since I have been at this for several years, however, I have found that while there is still plenty of stress and chaos that comes along with single parenting and family life, there is also a certain amount of peace that comes with my life experience as a single parenthood.
For me, loneliness is not an element of my life that I wrestle with. I have found that compared to my previous life, there are so many marvelous, peaceful things that come with being a single parent. In fact, since my family and home are fairly well-established and things generally run pretty smoothly (even with all the changes and chaos), I find that settling in for a weekend at home, or coming home after a hectic business trip, one of the first feelings that comes upon me is peace. There is something very peaceful about being in charge of my own environment and of the confidence and esteem that comes with that accomplishment. Where there was tension, arguing, and having to accommodate another person’s whims and tantrums years ago, there is now more space, peace and respect. I do not mean to imply that my children are little angels, but the boundaries between parent and child are clear and I understand my role and my responsibilities–there is some peace in that sort of clear expectation and boundaries.
Instead of focusing on what you think is missing or what you do not have in your life, you might find that there is some strength and peace that comes along with things just as they are. I find that celebrating those little joys and the peaceful times is just one more way of cultivating appreciation for my life as it is.