(My corny kid getting corn-fused in a corn maze.)
Amazing things can happen when you take a kid into a corn maze… like making headlines around the world and becoming the butt of late night comics’ jokes.
My heart bleeds for the Massachusetts mom and dad, who thought an innocent jaunt with their kids to a local corn maze, would yield wholesome family fall fun. Only the seasonal activity turned out to be a pre-Halloween nightmare that will haunt them for years to come.
By now you’ve likely heard the tale of the couple, who took their 3-week-old baby and 5-year-old child, to navigate the massive corn maze at the Connors Farm in Danvers, Massachusetts. The sprawling outdoor labyrinth spans seven acres and features miles of nine foot tall stalks of corn.
Translation: Not a place you’re going to get in and out of in less than an hour. So if your kid has to go potty or your infant wants a bottle every 20 minutes, you may want to carefully consider what you are getting into before entering.
Or, you can just call 911 when you get lost.
That’s exactly what the frightened mom did when she and her family got lost amongst the stalks and panic set in.
In the 911 call, the mom tells the operator: “We came in during the day time and we got completely lost and we have no idea where we are. I’m really scared. It’s really dark and we’ve got a 3-week-old baby with us.”
Then, before hanging up the mom adds: “We thought this could be fun. Instead it’s a nightmare.”
Actually, the getting lost part was far less traumatic than what the parents faced after getting out of the maze.
As it turns out a K-9 rescue unit tracked down the family within five minutes of arriving on the scene. According to law enforcement officials, the parents and their kids were just 25 feet from the maze’s exit and didn’t realize it.
The farm’s owner told news reporters: “We designed the maze for people to get lost but it’s all about family fun and it’s unfortunate that the family got stuck. That’s not our goal. We want a positive experience for all.”
In fact, the farmer felt so bad that his corn creation confused the parents; he offered them free tickets to try the maze again at a later date.
They declined.
Maybe they’re holding out for a reality TV show: Rescue 911— EAR-Responsible Parents Stalked By Husk-y Shuck-ers.
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