Christmas in February

Well we made it through a few hours with my in laws and there was no blood or tears shed. When we got in the car and were driving home we asked the kids how they felt that the day went. The car was quiet. If you know our kids you would know that it is not very common for them all to be quiet at the same time. We knew what was going on that the kids did not want to say anything that may hurt my husband’s feelings. My husband was nice and spoke up telling the kids that it is more important to know how they feel so that we can try to work on fixing it.

All three of the kids said that they still felt like the Grandparents like their cousin more. They all noticed even more pictures of their cousin, in honesty it was crazy. They could have taken down a few of her to make it at least appear to be a better blend of our three and her but they did not even do that. In the kids room they all noticed it is even more girly and her name and picture are the only ones in the room.

The kids also commented on how they never really even talked with the kids. They did not ask if they had a good Christmas, how school was going or how they are in general. My husband and I kept trying to drop little tidbits for them to expand on but they really seemed like they had no interest in doing so. It is so hard watching the expressions on the kids’ faces and know that they are hurting because of all of this. How do you make the pain stop? When do you decide enough is enough and just stop trying?

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About Tammy Woolard

My name is Tammy and I am 40 year old mother of 3 wonderful children who came to us through domestic adoption. Although we did not have any fertility issues we chose adoption because there are so many kids that did not ask to be born but truly want a family to love. We did research on adoption choices and decided on domestic adoption through CPS. You would be surprised the differences between each agency. The adoption process is nothing like you see in the movies. I am also a 5 year breast cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed my kids were 3, 5 and 7 I did so much research I may have driven my Dr. a little crazy but that is ok it is my body not his.

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