In a previous article, I proposed a question to my readers. I asked if you would confess to having an affair. I also stated that there are many affairs that occur that no one ever knows about.
If you had an affair, should you confess to it? Confessing to an affair is a big chance to take. No one can be certain how his or her mate will react to the confession. In this article, I will examine the possibilities of both confessing and keeping your secret.
If you confess…
I think that a lot depends on the type of affair that you had. Was it ongoing or a one-night mistake? As a spouse, I would be more willing to forgive a one-time thing than something that continued on for months without my knowledge of it.
You should confess when the two of you have time to talk. Never confess as either of you are about to leave or have plans. Be prepared to give your spouse time to think alone. If your souse needs you to leave for a while, do so. The news will likely be quiet a shock.
Also be prepared for intense emotions in the beginning. Just because things seem to be going really bad at first, does not mean that your spouse will not settle down and reach a form of logic later.
Give all details. You are confessing so why try to hide anything now. Be honest and tell all that happened. This is no time to try to hide anything. Your spouse can probably tell if you are covering up or holding back.
If you do not confess…
If you decide not to confess, hope each and every day that your spouse does not find out from someone else. As bad as it would be for my husband to confess to an affair, it would be that much worse for me to find out elsewhere. Hearing it on the streets or by a phone call would be terrible. While telling your spouse is a risk, I think that not telling and him/her finding out is even a bigger risk.
Also can you live with the guilt? Can you be true to your relationship and carry on without letting your spouse know?