As much of a bad rap as controlling behaviors get, one would think that there is absolutely nothing positive or good that can come from someone who is controlling or overly involved with the trying to get people and situations to go ‘just so.’ Believe it or not, there are some positive things that come from the efforts of a controlling person and if you are prone to being controlling, it can help to look at why you are being so controlling and try to figure out how to let go of the negative aspects and hang on to some of the positive ones.
What I have learned about controlling people is that at the root of them, they are feeling insecure and overwhelmed. Their attempts at controlling what other people do or say are really efforts to bring order and peace to perceived chaos. When it comes to trying to control or direct your customers or clients, it may be that you are trying to get things “under control” and this is contributing to your trying to get people under control too. You may find that if you can get the areas of your business under control that you have influence over, you will be able to stop controlling and bossing your customers and clients around.
Many projects need someone to take charge—they need someone willing to cross all the ‘t’s and dot all the ‘i’s. Additionally, if you are the sole proprietor in your business you probably feel the pressure of being the one who HAS to take care of business. Getting your business organized and developing systems and policies for how to operate is one way to cope with the need to control, however, while trying to force your customers and clients to do what you want can be quite another. Many individuals definitely want SOME direction and guidance, but they do not want to have every aspect of their interaction dictated and controlled. They need to feel like they have a say, can make choices, and there is some freedom and wiggle room in the sales or business interaction. If you let your need to control dictate how you interact with customers or clients, you may very well lose them.