Though I can’t speak too much for generations before my time, there does appear to be more negative types of peer pressure on teens nowadays. There are pressures to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, to party, have sex, try illegal substances, dress in ways that bring unsafe attention to them…
What are some things we can do to help our children to grow up safe and pure? Though I won’t claim to have all the answers, I’ve talked with some teens in the past and gathered some perspective in how to do this. Every teen is an individual. It isn’t wise to assume that any teen is going to have an easier time avoiding temptation regardless of their grades, friends or upbringing.
In dating, teens have an opportunity to go out one on one with the opposite sex and get to know each other. The problem I see with this is that teenager’s hormones can get the better of them, leading them into temptations — especially when out alone! This is not a fair position for either the boy or the girl to be in. Often the moment can take over and regardless whether they have sex or not, they can still do or say something they might regret.
The idea behind courting is a bit different. Parents may have much more involvement in what their teens are doing, who they are with and where they are going. Often times, the parents will know their child’s friend’s parents as well. In some cases, the teen (typically the boy) go to the girl’s parents and ask their permission to court their daughter.
Though courting today really varies, the idea behind it differs from dating in that dating, one isn’t necessarily looking for a future spouse. The courting couples I’ve talked with usually get together in public places even with other couples or friends. It’s an opportunity to get to know someone in a friendship-like setting without the pressures to commit, or doing anything physical with the other person.
When a person has courted another and realized they really want to be with just that person, they may start dating, continuing in the same public fashion they did before to resist temptation to do more, with the hopes they’ve found “the one”.
Please check out my other Christian parenting blogs from this series:
Getting into Your Kid’s Business
Honoring Your Mother and Father
Teaching Our Children Self-Respect