I just got back from Target where I learned that apparently Jesus was crucified so that procrastinating parents could elbow you in the shoulder in order to get the last package of electric blue Peeps.
Elbows in shoulders, ribs, jaws; shopping carts running over feet and ramming hips; short tempers and long lines…
Remember the reason for the season, people. Geez!
Note to self: Bring shin guards the next time you head down the candy aisle on the day before Easter.
The kicker (and I mean that literally) to my shopping rant is that I was done collecting goodies to fill Easter baskets, but at the last minute my dear daughter, who weeks ago swore on her Zhu Zhu pet collection, that she absolutely, positively didn’t want a single sugar-coated marshmallow animal of any color from the Easter Bunny this year, changed her mind.
Now before you get the idea that I’m the type of parent who would trek across town in the rain and hurricane force winds to get a package of edible mouthless, feetless and handless bunnies, think again.
I went to Target because we were out of toilet paper. The Peeps were a side trip.
A trip that resulted in the makings of a large bruise… and this blog.
I guess I only have myself to blame. After all, what clear-thinking parent heads down the candy aisle a few hours before Easter?
I mean really, I should have known that venturing down a packed aisle filled with holiday procrastinators picking fights and poking elbows wouldn’t be pretty. Actually, it was pretty pathetic.
The road to Calvary may be littered with the corpses of our selfish egos, but the candy aisle of Target is trashed with debris from desperate parents looking for last minute loot to fill their kids’ Easter baskets.
Of course things at Target will only get worse on Monday when the prices on all that sugar, fluff, wicker and plastic are slashed by 50 percent.
Happy Easter!