It seems to me (and forgive me if I am wrong) that most gay people believe they were born that way, that it wasn’t a choice. I mean, after all, many ask who would choose to be persecuted and discriminated against as they often are?
Still, some people think it is a choice. Unlike someone who is female, African American, or physically handicapped, you can’t look at someone who is gay and know why. Some say they always felt gay, but were afraid to express it. But, there is no physical sign to the fact that they are gay and there wasn’t some event that let you know they were gay, other than them telling you.
However, something happened recently that divided at least part of the gay community on this subject. Cynthia Nixon, who played Miranda on “Sex and the City,” was with a male partner for 15 years. The couple had two children. But, the couple broke up and in 2004, Nixon began dating a woman.
That turned a few heads, but not nearly as many as a statement she made last week. Nixon told the New York Times recently, “”I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.”
As you might imagine, the fact that Nixon said she was gay by choice did not set well with many in the gay community.
Nixon tried to explain herself later, saying she was bisexual, but said, “I don’t pull out the ‘bisexual’ word because nobody likes the bisexuals.” She also told the Advocate in an exclusive interview that she has “chosen” to be in a gay relationship. She did go on to say that homosexuals and heterosexuals cannot make that choice because they are only attracted to one sex.
Still, Wayne Besen, founder of Truth Wins Out, thought Nixon’s comments were irresponsible and flippant and felt Nixon’s use of the word “choice” opened gays up to an “enormous amount of abuse.”