Does your child know dating etiquette? Once they are about 8 years old, boys and girls can benefit from a criss cross date night with parents. Daddy takes daughter out–if you have more than one, he should take one at a time. Mommy takes son out–again, one child per parent per date is best. The parent should ask the child if he/she would like to go on a date, and include the when and where. Put it on the calendar–and do not reschedule.
While on your criss-cross date, keep these things in mind:
1. Let the child help decide where and when you’ll go on your date.
2. Whether you’re getting in or out of the car or entering a theatre, boys should open doors for girls, and girls should wait for boys to open doors, then thank them.
3. Boys should seat girls at tables and always let girls go first. This is gentlemanly–and girls should expect it.
4. Table manners–like napkins in lap, elbows off the table, and “excuse me, please” when leaving the table–should be practiced.
5. Teach conversation etiquette, like how to initiate a conversation by asking a non-personal but interesting question. “Have you been to this restaurant before?” “Do you generally like science fiction movies?” “How long has it been since you ice skated?” And teach children to split time talking about their date and themselves. Give them a hint to keep conversation active–don’t ask yes or no questions when conversation lags.
6. No cell phones, video games, ipods, or other technology. The date is all about you and him/her.
7. Who will pay? Teach your child date protocol based on your family values. Is it okay to go Dutch? Do boys pay? Do girls pay? Does the person who asked for the date pay?
8. Dress appropriately for the outing, but dress up a little, even if you’re going to a hockey game. Wouldn’t you look your best for a date? Dad can help son get ready, and Mom can help daughter. This allows great quality time for sharing stories, values, and a special time of bonding.
9. How does the date end? On the car ride home, discuss how dates should end, how to politely tell someone you don’t want to go out with him/her again,how to ask for another date, and how to thank a date for a great time. Should a son walk his date to the door? Older kids may need a little talk about first kisses. This is an opportune time to discuss curfews, too.
10. Treasure your time! Soon your child will be going on real dates, and you may have to take a back seat. (Though I don’t suggest that literally–no snooping!) Snap pre-date photos, and keep little momentos for your scrapbook. You’re making memories that will last forever and training your babies to be responsible, likable, respectable adults.