It’s a completely normal occurrence. Jimmy goes to soccer practice. Coach says, “Hey, Jimmy, why’d your parents decide to teach you at home?” Maybe Coach genuinely wants to know. Maybe Coach wants to razz him a little. In either case, Jimmy’s now in an awkward position – that of defending a choice his parents made, without his parents present. It doesn’t matter how he replies – it’s still awkward.
Ideally, this would be a question that Coach would pose directly to the parents. After all, they’re the ones who made the decision. But those who ask the questions aren’t always sensitive to this social grace. The kid’s right there, they want to know – so why not ask the kid?
It’s not fair for the child to be placed in the middle of the homeschool/public school debate. He basically knows what his parents have told him, and he’s absorbing sayings and mantras from his public school friends , but he rarely has access to statistics or articles on the topic, and when he is questioned, he’s entering a discussion that may be too big for him to handle. Now, I do know there are home school kids who are very eloquent and can speak for themselves, but it is still an emotional burden for them to carry, dealing with the weight of defense.
I tell my children this: if someone asks them a question about home school, they are to say, “You can ask my mom about that.” This takes the heat off them, and I can answer the questions that are being asked. This allows them to just be kids, and I think that’s so important.
It’s very true that many of the questions that are asked come from genuine curiosity and desire to know, and that a spirit of meanness isn’t always the driving force. Questions from others can lead to some very beneficial conversations that lead to strengthened friendships. But it can be hard to know whether this is the type of conversation you’re entering, and it’s good if the child can refer inquiries to their parents, who are their natural safety net in times of confusion.
Related Blogs:
Peer Pressure in the Homeschool Family
When Your Choices Offend Others