Recently I heard a woman talking about an argument she had with her husband. The catalyst for the argument was a small thing of something out of place and how to deal with it. But the real problem lay in something far deeper.
Too often as women we want to organize our men and tell them what they should be doing and when they should be doing it. The problem is by telling them what to do we are taking away their power of decision making. That was the problem in this case. The man resented being told what he should do and insisted he be allowed to make his own decision about what was right.
The solution then is to make suggestions as to what could be done and discuss it rather than making the decision for them and telling them what they should do.
Of courts it happens the other way around too where husbands try and impose their will, their ideas opinions and decisions on their wives, as if the woman is not capable of making a decision for herself.
We were all given brains to think and reason with. We need to be able to use them in our marriages and family life to make wise decisions. Often that can be using you marriage partner as a sounding board. I know that is something I do with Mick and he does with me. More often than not we discuss the pros and cons of whatever the situation or problem is and make a decision together.
We try and always take time to work through things together. However, occasionally a decision has to be made on the spot without consulting the other person. Then it is a matter of trusting that they are capable of and have made the right decision.
That means being ready to support them in their decisions. It means encouraging them with words and little acts of kindness and love.