For several weeks my husband and I have been attending a class based on a book called, “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs. The basis of his teaching is the importance of the wife respecting her husband and the husband loving his wife.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that the wife shouldn’t love the husband or the husband respect the wife, but he talks about how men and women differ in their relationships.
One of the things he repeats over and over again in the video series we are watching is that different isn’t wrong. I think that’s an important thing to remember in any marriage.
Because how often do you hear about a woman trying to change a man or even sometimes the other way around? If there isn’t an attempt to change the other person, there is at least a laundry list of complaints.
Yet those very things we wish to change or complain about are based on the fact that it’s not like us. Maybe your spouse doesn’t react the same way or communicate in the same manner. It could even be something as silly as how he puts on the toilet paper roll or loads the dishwasher. Different isn’t wrong.
This truth could potentially revolutionize many marriages. We may see it as an affront when someone does something differently than we do. We consider it “wrong.” Oh how I remember early in my marriage thinking my husband did so many things wrong. And that carried into my children.
They would say things like, “That’s not how mom does it. You’re doing it wrong.” No, he was just doing it different.
Do you struggle with trying to change your mate? Or do you find the differences to be annoying or irritating? Perhaps it’s just that you need to come to the realization that different isn’t wrong.
Photo by dagwood21 in Flickr