When I first gave birth to a son I assumed his father would take the helm and teach him what it means to be a man of God. I did not think I was qualified as a woman to teach my son who to be a man. After all, I am not a man. I took the role of raising my girls as a mentor seriously since a woman is equipped to teach the girlhood. As the years went on I would ask my husband his advice for any questions I had regarding raising a son. Eventually, I realized that a mother is essential is equipping her son to be a man. I felt awkward and feared I would steer him wrong. My husband instructed me that to create a man of God the young boy should learn how to be Christlike. A young boy needs structure, discipline, love, respect and discipling. I almost felt as if I was taking over my husband’s role but that was not the case. If you have boys you have a house full of joy and glorious chaos. You also have the work of creating a man of God. How do we as women influence and mold our sons?
A Mother’s Love
Our sons crave our love. They need a mother’s love for times when they feel weak yet need someone to make them feel strong. A mother needs to be a soft place to land. My husband once told me that a mom needs to be the woman a son feels comfortable coming to and crying if he needs even if that boy is a man and 6 feet tall. Men are not all powerful and strong. Your son needs your nurturing to feel a love that tells him he will always be your little boy. This is not to be confused with “babying” him or making him into a “mama’s boy”.
Your love for your son will also teach him how to chose a wife. Do you want your son to marry a lovely young lady who can be his soft place to land, who shows him respect and serves as wise counsel? He needs your example to show him what a Godly woman is so he can be lead to the Godly woman he will one day marry.
Structure
A young man needs structure. Young men strive for purpose and when that purpose is not found chaos happens. Young men have large amounts of energy that must be expended. The energy needs to be dispersed through hard work and hard play. A boy often needs you to check up on him often to be sure his chores are done and done properly. Do not be afraid to demand excellence in all his does. Once he is given his chores he should be expected to complete them properly and quickly. You are teaching him to have a strong work ethic that will stay with him once he is the man of the house. Do not wait for dad to discipline yet seek his guidance once he arrives home. If needed, have your husband talk to your son about the importance of following your rules. Have your husband tell your son that following your rules is following his rules. Ahh…another spiritual connection we are teaching.
Mud and Worn Out Jeans
Boys are hard on clothes and shoes. They love to play in the rain and often think boo boos are a sign of strength. Let your boy naturally be a boy. Often the phrase “let boys be boys” is used to excuse negative behavior. Ungodly behavior should never be excused. However, playing with frogs, muddy jeans, holes in shoes, sports, and a sense of adventure are to be encouraged and enjoyed.
Let your boys naturally be a boy and temper all of it with Godly instruction and structure. You are raising a man not a little boy yet never forget he is your little boy.
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