Do Not Believe The Stereotypes

Even as common as single parenting is, there are still so many stereotypes and common myths. Our children are from “broken” homes. This may be true for my marriage, it was broken, but I fixed my home and my family by getting a divorce. My family is not broken, I am not broken, my child is not broken.

The same goes for “intact” family. Merriam- Webster defines family as “a group of persons of common ancestry”. We are an intact family, we are a group of individuals of common ancestry who just so happen to love each other and want whats best for each other.

Please do not feel sorry for our children. If our children suffer from an absent parent, that would have been  true had they continued to live in the same home. Poor parenting is a choice and if a parent chooses to be absent after a divorce, chances are they weren’t all that involved to begin with.

Children in single parent families do not do any worse than children in two parent families if all other factors are the same. An involved parent, stability, firm guidelines, expectations, and consequences have more to do with whether a child succeeds or fails, than the marital status of his parents.

Do not feel sorry  for me. Yes, I parent alone, but that also means I don’t have to compromise, I can raise my child exactly as I always imagined. All choices are my own from curfew to school activities. I do not see my single parent status as a reason for pity. Instead I see it as an opportunity to grow and learn and become stronger. Single parenting has given me opportunities and experiences I would not have had in a two parent family.

Parenting alone has made me more aware of the injustices in this world, many children and parents do not have the privileges that Hailey and I do, so I’ve learned to be grateful. I’ve also learned that I have a responsibility to give to others and to teach my child to do the same.

A good parent is a good parent. This is not defined by whether or  not you are married, or have ever been married. Parenting is about the children and love for your children more than anything else guides a parent, whether you are married or single.

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