“It was 1982, and we had just moved to California,” Joe begins. “We bought a house …”
“It was 1983,” Betty interrupts. “It was right after your knee surgery.”
“Okay, it was 1983. Anyway, we were going out to dinner at this great steak house …”
“Actually, we were eating Italian,” Betty interrupts again. “Remember, that spaghetti was way overcooked.”
“So, we’re at dinner, and my friend Bob said—”
“We weren’t at dinner with Bob. It was Rex and Sue.”
Have you ever heard something like this – one spouse is trying to tell a story, and the other keeps interrupting to correct little details? I hear it all the time, and I have to say, it’s frustrating for poor Joe. Betty is placing too much emphasis on the little mistakes along the way. Does it really matter what year it was? No. Does it matter if they were eating steak or spaghetti, or who they were with? Most likely not.
What is important is that Joe wants to share something that happened to him that was meaningful. Maybe his favorite celebrity walked into the restaurant and Joe got to meet him. Maybe he got a phone call offering him his dream job. Whatever it was that happened, it was important to Joe, otherwise he wouldn’t be relating the story. At this rate, though, we’ll never get there because Betty won’t just let him share what was meaningful to him.
There are times when an important piece of the story is left out, and then the spouse can interject it. But for the most part, those little finite details are so unimportant, and we don’t need to worry if our spouse got them wrong. By constantly interrupting, we’re taking the spotlight off our spouse and shoving it back on us, and I have to say, not in a very flattering way. We’re making ourselves look like attention hogs. Even more, we’re building up resentment in our relationship. Who likes to be constantly interrupted and criticized? I know I sure don’t.
The next time your spouse is telling a story and he or she gets a little off-track, don’t worry about it. Let them share their experience with their listener. Let them get the feedback that will edify them and lift them up. It doesn’t hurt one thing in the world to confuse steak and spaghetti, and you will be doing something very positive for your relationship.
Related Blogs:
Respecting Each Other’s Quirks
Dealing with People Who Talk When You Talk