Obviously the problem of different churches or denominations is not insurmountable but it certainly is something that needs to be taken into consideration and discussed before marriage.
In many churches the number of women who attend far outweighs that of men. This causes an imbalance in churches. In a marriage situation this means that the husband is not taking the spiritual leadership role he should.
Wives who go to church when the husband doesn’t, or the reverse where the husband goes to church and the wife doesn’t, can be extremely difficult emotionally and physically. I have been involved with ladies in this situation and it really tears at the fabric of their marriage for the thing that is most important to them is irrelevant to their husband. It creates a barrier or chasm between the husband and wife which is not the way marriage should be. Yes, we each need our own individual interests. But if the person is a committed believer, that is not a casual interest but a whole different lifestyle with different core values.
Some of the problems such a person may encounter include feeling alienated from their spouse as well as feeling rather like an outsider with other church couples, discouragement, depression, resentment, anger, bitterness, jealousy, grief, family tension and arguments. It has in the past with those I knew, led to irreconcilable differences some of which ended up in divorce.
Some spouses will seek to prevent the believer from attending church, bible study and church related activities or making friends with those in the church. I have seen so many marriages where the wife goes to church and either the husband doesn’t, or he goes to a church belonging to a different denomination. And it doesn’t stop there. More often than not it creates problems not just in the marriage but in the family. When children, especially boys see Dad doesn’t go to church, they figure,’ Well why should I?’ And so the cycle is often perpetuated.
I am very thankful that Mick and I attend church and bible study together. Afterwards we will talk about points raised in the sermon or study. I’m thankful too that we can pray and read and read the bible together. What it means is that our core values are the same. It is a great blessing and encouragement to each of us.
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