For many couples, an irritant that often flares up is the fact that one spouse has more friends of the opposite sex. This problem doesn’t just happen; is has usually always been the case, even prior to marriage. The question is was it ever resolved?
Usually the person that feels stressed about his or her spouse’s friends is perceived as the one with a problem, but in reality, the spouse with lots of friends of the opposite sex may be the one with the problem.
It should never come down to a choice between one’s friends and one’s spouse, but if unfaithfulness has occurred, it may be time to make that choice. If unfaithfulness hasn’t occurred, but your spouse perceives your friendships as inappropriate, you still have an issue to deal with and resolve.
If your spouse is concerned about your friend or friends of the opposite sex who seem to only want to be friends with you and not them, they have a rational argument. Try to include your spouse in all your friendships so these particular friends of yours don’t get the wrong idea, and even more importantly, so your spouse doesn’t feel insecure. After all, your first priority and loyalty are to your wife or husband.
Some couples are more comfortable with allowing friends of the opposite sex to spend time with their spouses, but if you’re not among that group, then it’s time to put your foot down concerning these issues.
As for inappropriate behavior, it might include going out to the movies together, going out of town together, and for some it might include drinks, lunch, and dinners. It just depends on what you’re comfortable with. Ask your spouse how they would feel if the tables were turned. Even if they say they’d be okay with it, if you’re not, then that’s the bottom line.
Ultimately, it’s important that both spouses to be honest and communicate openly when these issues occur. There’s no reason that two people in love shouldn’t be able to work out, even an issue such as this.